Welcome to the Youkai Temple
by UnendingEmpire
Summary: Ever wonder what's going on at the Myouren Temple during everybody's downtime? Grab a seat and check out the wacky pre-Chistmas lives of the crew, as well as those Taoists living not so far away.
1. Chapter 1

**At first, I wanted to write an ecchi fanfic starring just Murasa, but by the end of the chapter, it became a fanfic about the bizarre lives of the surrogate family that is the Myouren crew. And now part of me wants to try and BS a way to resurrect Myouren himself. I'm sure Byakuren would be ecstatic and the rest of the crew would be awestruck to meet the guy the temple was named after. Anyway, I hope you enjoy Murasa's perversion in the beginning of this fanfic and a mellow start to a silly and fast-paced fanfic.**

* * *

So bored…

Nothing to do except stare at the stars…

"Argh, I can't take this!" Murasa leapt up to her feet. Surely there was _something_ to do somewhere to pass her time. On the other hand, it was three in the morning. Being a ghost and all, it wasn't like Murasa really needed sleep. Perhaps somebody else was awake at this hour. Walking into and throughout the halls of the Myouren Temple, she started doing a mental checklist of who else may be awake at three in the morning. _Let's see, now…Hijiri has that meeting with those Taoists later today so she'll be asleep so that she can be at her best in case things get violent. Shou would be going with her, and where Shou goes, Nazrin's sure to follow. Ichirin's asleep with her head literally in the clouds and Kyouko passed out, and I was the one that had to carry her to her bed. Which only leaves…_ Nue. Even in regular circumstances, Nue was the most likely to be awake at this time aside from Murasa herself. So Nue it would be. Perhaps Murasa could set up a harmless prank on her? That would be a fun start to her day when the receiver of the prank woke up later today if she were asleep.

Murasa turned a corner to where the bedrooms were. There were eleven in all, with the crew of the temple occupying the seven near the back; the other four had four beds each for any youkai that needed a place to stay, and they were all empty at the time. Byakuren's room was all the way in the back, and Shou and Nazrin had the rooms across from each other, right next to Byakuren's. The next two rooms down were Ichirin and Kyouko, and after that…Murasa and Nue. The ghostly captain kneeled down in front of Nue's door; she had to make sure her victim was asleep before setting up a prank, or else it wouldn't work. And Murasa's eye looked through the keyhole to find Nue…slept _in the nude_? Yes! Murasa was now facing one naked Nue Houjuu, sleeping with her face away from the door and her ass pointed straight at Murasa.

"Ohh…" How Murasa wished she had a camera. Nue slept in the nude. Who would've guessed it? For now though, she had to quietly open Nue's door. Halfway open, and Murasa was slipping in. What kind of prank should she do? Something that trapped Nue in her room? Or maybe something that forced her out right when she woke up, exposing the naked Nue to everybody? …Murasa wasn't _that_ cruel, something simple would-

"Hey! What're you doing!" The sudden shout at Murasa echoed off the walls of the hallway, easily enough revealing the identity of the shouter. Kyouko Kasodani; sweeping extraordinaire.

"Kyouko!" Murasa leapt out of the doorway at Kyouko's sudden shouting, accidentally slamming the door with her. "Pipe down! It's three in the morning!"

"You're sneaking into Nue's room!"

* * *

**What happened in Nue's room…**

Nue wouldn't have noticed the quiet opening of her door. She wasn't a heavy sleeper, but she wasn't exactly easy to wake up either. It took something loud, like the slamming of a door, to wake her up. So Nue, sleeping in the nude, wouldn't have noticed a fully awake (and dressed) Murasa creeping into her room. Until…

"Hey! What're you doing!"

"Aah!" Nue's eyes shot open the second she mistook the shout for that of a highly experienced youkai hunter in her dream. It was only a dream, so Nue quickly drifted back to sleep…

_SLAM!_

Once again was she woken up! And this time she fell right out of bed, flat onto her face with yet another slamming noise. "Dammit," she muttered. Now she wasn't even tired anymore, and it was three in the morning! Getting up to her feet, the groggy nue knew that there was only one person who would be up at this hour aside from herself. One person. Storming for her door, Nue shouted "**Murasa!**"

* * *

**Currently…**

"You were sneaking into Nue's room!"

"Damn right you were," Nue shouted, slamming her door open. "What the hell are you doing, sneaking into my room at three in the morning? Well?" No answer from Murasa. Only stares. Kyouko was awake, too? That made enough sense; she was the one that woke Nue up first with her shouting. The Myouren Temple's janitor also seemed speechless, giving Nue the exact same stares as Murasa. "Answer me, Murasa! And you too, Kyouko! Why are you yelling at three in the morning? There are people sleeping at this hour!" That last sentence came out far louder than Nue meant, and before long every other door was opening, with everybody stopping and staring at Nue…even Byakuren was giving her weird stares.

…

…

"What," she asked curtly. "What are you all staring at?"

"Nue," Murasa said. "U-Um…" _Don't look down…don't look down! Don't…dammit, I looked down!_

"Hey, I'm up here!" Then the realization struck her. She forgot to cover herself before coming out to yell at Murasa! Now she was turning the same red as her wings over her entire body and shaking lightly. "Q-Quit…don't stare at me! Look away, avert your eyes!" This was probably the single most embarrassing moment of Nue's entire life. And it was all Murasa's fault.

"Well…it's a compliment, really…" Murasa's eyes were still locked onto Nue's breasts, and it was taking all of her self control to not look further down. "I-I mean…you've got a really nice figure!"

"…" Time to use her form-changing powers for the best use they'd seen in the last couple of months. Nue bulked up one of her arms to a degree that could be called ridiculous, followed quickly by a rib-shattering punch right into Murasa's chest, sending the sailor right through her door and leaving a Murasa-shaped dent in her bedroom wall. Not even a half-second later, Nue's arm shrunk back down to normal size and was used to slam the door behind her as she ran back into her room. The sheer embarrassment drove her to tears. How would she face any of them again? All they'd see was that girl who came out completely naked that one night, wasn't it? If ever there was a time when Nue wanted Murasa's head on a silver platter, it was now.

* * *

**Eight in the morning, Byakuren's office…**

"I'm sure you two know why you're here," Byakuren said.

"Yes, Lady Hijiri," Nue and Murasa said together.

"We'll start with Nue; I'm sure you're still very embarrassed and don't want to be seen by anybody, even in your fully dressed state."

"…" Nue's face turned bright red just from Byakuren mentioning her being fully dressed.

"I understand that you were angry that you were woken up in such a manner; I most certainly would be as well. However, yelling that loudly at three in the morning and waking everybody up…especially when I have an important meeting later today, just…-yawn- isn't really a good example of how to act around here."

"Understood," Nue said softly. "It won't happen again. I'll make you some coffee to apologize."

"Nazrin's already preparing breakfast for everybody, and Murasa will be joining her soon enough. You can go now; I'll tell Nazrin to just leave your breakfast at the door if you still don't want to see anybody."

"Thank you." And in just seconds, Nue was out of that room, and glad to be. She could have sworn that Murasa was still giving her funny stares. Some nerve, that sailor had, staring right at Nue's breasts like that! Her chest wasn't even her best physical feature, in her opinion! It was her hair; her perfectly straight, jet-black hair that reached just below her shoulders. Or even her ruby red eyes, but not her small chest! The worst part was that now that she thought about it that way, the way Byakuren was staring at her…with such a huge chest of her own… _Note to self; buy a bigger bra._ She'd just have to change her form to have bigger breasts was all. Problem solved.

"And now for you, Murasa." Byakuren didn't look particularly happy, but still pleasant regardless. "May I ask what you were doing, sneaking into Nue's room at three in the morning?"

"Well, ma'am," Murasa started. "I was getting really bored and lonely, and-"

"Please, just stop there. I know how sailors can get and I don't want to start my day with this kind of talk."

"Wh…What? …wait, no! Oh, hell no! Jesus, no, how could you even…that wasn't at all what I was thinking of!"

"…oh. Then…-yawn- by all means, continue."

"I was going to set up some kind of prank in her room; just a simple little harmless thing to get a good laugh out of the morning, when I saw that Nue…u-um, sleeps naked. I was sneaking into her room, and Kyouko from out of _nowhere_ asks me what I'm doing, and yells at me because I'm sneaking into her room. Why isn't she in trouble, again?"

"Because that was good looking out. Sure, Kyouko may be a bit loud, but we can't tell a youkai of echoes to quiet down, can we? I'll have a word with Kyouko after I see the Taoists, but for now, go help Nazrin prepare everybody's breakfast, okay?"

"Sure thing."

"Don't forget the coffee. Especially not today."

"Aye-aye, ma'am." Most of the time the two were on cooking duty; Nazrin's mice plus Murasa's experience as a sailor meant some of the finest meals for their simplicity. The thing about the mice was a closely-kept secret, though; only Murasa, Nazrin, Byakuren, and Shou knew about the mice in the kitchen. As Murasa started toward the kitchen, she thought about how awesome Nazrin's mice were; that they were able and willing to bathe themselves before helping to prepare food. That was why Myouren Temple food was still healthy. It was also why there was almost always a shortage of cheese.

* * *

**Ten minutes later; Myouren Temple dining room**

"Looks great," Byakuren said happily. "Let's dig in, folks!" No Nue at the breakfast table today. That was to be expected; she was embarrassed half to death from this morning's rather exposing scene. Byakuren just hoped she didn't do anything stupid…

"Byakuren," Shou asked between bites of her eggs. "Do you think we should save some of this breakfast and bring it with us to the Taoists? I hear their gatekeeper has quite an appetite."

"…I believe you may be onto something here, Shou. Let's see, if we each gave up one item from our plates, it would make a decent meal, so I'll pass on my…bacon."

"Add this biscuit," Shou said, handing her leader the biscuit from her plate. "I'm usually pretty full after I eat the eggs so it's fine."

Nazrin stared at her plate carefully. All of her stuff was delicious, so she wasn't sure what to pass on. "Just…take whatever you want. I can't decide." The second Byakuren's hand reached out to grab something, though, Nazrin shouted "No no wait!"

"…okay." Byakuren sat back down. Nazrin had plenty of time to pick out a food to give to the Taoists; Byakuren didn't have to leave until one in the afternoon and it was only a quarter after eight now. "Murasa, you…" Murasa was rather limited in her choice. A lot of the shopping for the Myouren Temple's groceries were done at a market in the Human Village that bought most of its foods from Kourindou, and in front of Murasa was four things. A bowl of cereal, a plate of waffles, a glass of orange juice, and the box for Murasa's cereal of choice; she picked it because the guy on the front was a pirate and it reminded her of the ocean.

"I'll give them the waffles," Murasa said. "_All_ of them."

"If you say so…"

* * *

**Crunchitize me, cap'n!**

**Haha, Murasa's bowl of Captain Crunch aside, I may have individual chapters star different characters living in the Myouren Temple. For example, this one was pretty focused on Murasa, and the next one might be more centralized around Nue or Byakuren. A simple and freeform fanfic like this is a great way to build my own interpretations of the wonderful team living in the Myouren Temple, like Murasa's perversion at the start will tell you and how embarrassed Nue got.**

**This is a very light fanfic with no traces of darkness yet, and I really hope it stays that way for future chapters. The Myouren crew is a happy bunch; you can't really write a dark fanfic about them no matter how hard you try.**

**And just for fun, here's what everybody's eating. Shops that buy their supplies from Kourindou is a great way for me to BS any dish possible, so kudos to me XD**

**Byakuren: Bacon, steak, waffles, coffee (so grown-up!)**

**Shou: Eggs, biscuit, coffee (small eater, I think)**

**Murasa: Captain Crunch, waffles, orange juice (obvious "child" of the group)**

**Nazrin: Grilled cheese sandwich w/ syrup (fucking delicious), pancakes, eggs, bacon, cheese slice, apple, milk (wtf huge breakfast)**

**Ichirin: Apple, banana, orange, orange juice (vegan Ichirin?)**

**Nue: Steak, bacon, eggs, milk (anti-vegan Nue!)**

**Kyouko: Cinnamon Toast Crunch, orange juice (REAL child of the group!)**


	2. Chapter 2: Messenger of Peace

**Before anything, I wanna say that the Tatsh remixes of both Byakuren's theme and Toyosatomimi's are absolutely beautiful; they were the primary soundtrack for writing this chapter. Next is a quick note about the Taoists. I usually refer to Toyosatomimi no Miko and Mononobe no Futo by their last names (despite their horrendously long length) because I'm uncomfortable using their first names in general. Using "Miko" makes me sometimes think I'm referring to Reimu or Sanae (or depending on the situation, Rumia) instead of our Taoist Saint, and "Futo" is too close to futa for my taste. The rest (Seiga, Tojiko, and Yoshika) I refer to with their first names, so it's only the two head honchos that use the last name for me.**

**I like how this fanfic is going so far :D**

* * *

"So embarrassing…" Nue didn't even want to be seen again, ever. But she couldn't turn invisible. No, that was something best left to Murasa, being a ghost and all. So for now, Nue would just eat her breakfast and lie down on her bed, just waiting for today to end so that people hopefully forgot about this by tomorrow. "I can't believe that actually happened."

_Knock, knock, knock._

"Whaaat?"

"May I come in," Ichirin asked from the other side of the door.

"…" Nue and Ichirin weren't exactly the friendliest of people toward each other, but they still got along well, and it wasn't like this was Murasa knocking on her door. Nue still boiled with rage toward the captain for making her come out like that. But for now… "Sure."

* * *

**One in the afternoon; Dream Palace Mausoleum…**

"I see Yoshika had no quarrels about permitting you entry," Mononobe said less than eagerly, eyeing the jiang shi as she started to chow down on various foods. She was in this with her Saint Toyosatomimi, and any enemy of Toyosatomimi was Mononobe's enemy as well. However, the Myouren crew was here today to see if they could get these hostilities, and everybody was sworn to not attack unless struck first. "Saint Toyosatomimi is this way." In the time since Toyosatomimi's resurrection, the crew here at the Dream Palace Mausoleum figured out a way to actually move the mausoleum so that they weren't right under the bitter enemies their Saint found in the Myouren Temple. The two were now on opposite sides of the Human Village; a place that had been finding itself under religious tensions for the last couple of days thanks to the differing viewpoints of Byakuren and Toyosatomimi.

"No need to guide them," another voice chimed in. And in stepped the saint herself; Toyosatomimi no Miko. "I'm already here. Byakuren…"

"Toyosatomimi…" The glares between Toyosatomimi and Byakuren were almost visible, and simply the fact that those glares existed made the air tense

"…this way."

"You already know I refuse to change my viewpoint on youkai matters, Byakuren. Why do you keep coming back and why do you persist at trying to make me change my mind?" The two now sat in the deepest part of the mausoleum; the chamber of Toyosatomimi herself. It was just the two leaders; both parties were sworn to leave their followers behind so that it would only be two people conversing with each other. "They must be hunted and killed."

"Then what of your disciples? I remind you every time we have these meetings; all of your underlings are youkai too. And you-"

"Be quiet! I'm no filthy youkai!"

"I'm afraid to inform you," Byakuren said, not losing an ounce of tranquility at all. "But you are. If you're not human, you're a youkai. Even I am a youkai by classification, Toyosatomimi. The longer you try to ignore this fact, the more you're going to suffer in the end when you must finally accept the truth. Our very rivalry, Toyosatomimi, puts on display everything that we're trying to stop at the Myouren Temple. I beg of you to just picture it; a world with no conflict at all."

"I imagine that world every day," the saint said bitterly. "And neither you nor your temple are in it, and the same can be said of every youkai in Gensokyo. I've said it plenty of times, so I'll say it once more, Youchrist. All. Youkai. Must. Die."

"Then what of yourself? You're willing to sacrifice your life just to see your own selfish goal attained?"

"How dare you call me selfish in my own home!" Toyosatomimi turned to face away from Byakuren; she didn't want her enemy to see her reddening face of anger or the tiny tears that were forming because of how right Byakuren really was. "If you really have the audacity to question my own quest and my very humanity right here in my home, then I recommend you leave."

"…and leave I shall," Byakuren said, standing up to her feet. "But not before telling you one last thing. You and I truly aren't too different. We both became what we are now because we were afraid to die, and none of our followers can really be called human. The sooner you realize how similar you and I truly are, the sooner we can finally make peace between the Dream Palace Mausoleum and the Myouren Temple." And with that, Byakuren left through the door and turned to face Shou, who had been waiting faithfully just outside, with Nazrin beside her. "Come along, you two. We're leaving now." Off the three went. They needed to get back to the Myouren Temple before somebody there (particularly Murasa or Nue) decided to do something stupid.

"So tell us, Byakuren…how did it go?"

"We'll find out soon enough, Shou. I just hope that we've at least made a step toward peace."

When had this ever happened before? In all of her life, how many times had Toyosatomimi no Miko; Saint of the Dream Palace Mausoleum, found herself on her knees in tears? Once? Twice? No…the answer was zero. "She's right…" She didn't even bother to note that she was crying for the first time in her life. Only one thing mattered to her right now. Byakuren was actually right. She was _right_! "I can't believe that…she's right."

_Knock, knock, knock._ "Saint Toyosatomimi, may I enter?"

"…not right now, Mononobe. I have to…I need…"

"Yes?"

"…come in."

And in stepped one Mononobe no Futo; Toyosatomimi's most trusted underling, advisor, and right-hand woman for just about anything. "You need to…what, now?"

"Mononobe…is she right?"

"Begging pardon?"

Getting up to her feet, Toyosatomimi explained "Byakuren says that her and I aren't really that different; that the only real difference between us is that while I want to rid the world of youkai, she wants peace between humans and youkai. She said that…"

_"You and I truly aren't too different. We both became what we are now because we were afraid to die, and none of our followers can really be called human. The sooner you realize how similar you and I truly are, the sooner we can finally make peace between the Dream Palace Mausoleum and the Myouren Temple."_

"…am I a coward?"

"M-Most certainly not, Saint Toyosatomimi! There's a great multitude of things that define you as a person, but cowardice is most certainly not one of them! Why do you ask?"

"I was afraid to die; something that I knew would happen. Something all humans understand has to happen to them some day. That's why we did this, right?"

"…yes. I recall; you were terrified of death. When we both went to sleep, you had me go first so that you knew it was safe. I suppose, as unfortunate as it is to say so, Byakuren might not have been entirely inaccurate."

"…I'm a youkai," Toyosatomimi said to herself in shock. "I-I…I'm one of them." Cue the panic attack. "What have I done? What on earth did I do to myself? I've become the one thing I most hate to avoid the one thing I most fear…no, this isn't right!" Guilt. Panic. Disgust at herself. These and more ran through Toyosatomimi's body now, and it led to her collapsing on the floor in tears. "This isn't right," she shouted. "This is far worse than any death! I've become a youkai! What the hell has this world come to?"

"This world never came to anything," Mononobe said reassuringly, patting her crying Saint on the back. "It's us who came to this world. We can't possibly return to our own world; we're naught but myth and folklore by now most likely. We must remain here, but you and Byakuren may both continue existing for all time, as well as our followers and theirs. A rivalry that spans the lifetime of the world itself is unattainable by most means…"

"What are you implying? Just get to the point already."

"I am dearly sorry for pointing out this observation, but it may be best if we were to…ally ourselves with the Myouren Temple and its residents."

"…"

"I apologize dearly."

"Don't…you're right. You're absolutely right, Mononobe. And Byakuren was right too." Getting up to her feet and wiping off the first tears of her life, Toyosatomimi said "As a human, I was afraid to die, so I cheated death. I'm now just as much a youkai as the oni who comes through town now and then selling various goods. But I've been selfish. It was selfish of me to want to exterminate all youkai, despite being one myself; a crusade that would bring me right back to where I started in all this mess. For the bitter cold rivalry between us and them, I apologize with all my heart. And we're going to tell them that I'm sorry tomorrow as well. We're clear?"

"Most certainly. I'll have Seiga and Yoshika prepare to leave."

"Good." It would still take some self-acceptance. Toyosatomimi no Miko; the most zealous youkai hunter in all of Gensokyo, was a youkai herself; one that would end up killing herself in the end if she kept at it. That death was the number-one thing she feared, and it was why she became a youkai to begin with. How very right Byakuren was, and how angry Toyosatomimi was at herself with the fact that Byakuren's words hit right on the mark…

* * *

**The following day; Myouren Temple…**

_Knock, knock, knock._

"Yeah," Murasa asked nonchalantly, opening the front door of the Myouren Temple. "What can I do…for…"

"I need to speak with Byakuren," Toyosatomimi said. "Now."

"Y-You!" Murasa's arms reached out for the nearest anchor on instinct, and the captain was barely able to stop herself from swinging a massive piece of iron right across this Saint's face. "Byakuren's not taking any visitors today! I'll send her to your mausoleum sometime!"

"Since when was I not seeing anybody," asked none other than Byakuren herself, resting a hand on Murasa's current anchor of choice. "Settle down, Murasa. If Toyosatomimi had come here to harm us, she would have brought her followers. Besides, it's not like a Saint to lie to people, so I'm certain she's just here to talk."

"B…But…Lady Hijiri!"

"Run along, Murasa. I believe the matters at hand here are between only us two."

"…yes, ma'am," Murasa uttered, heading down through the twisting halls of the Myouren Temple, anchor in tow.

"Now, then, let's speak in my office. It's far more private than these open and echo-prone hallways, I believe."

* * *

**Byakuren's office…**

"Now then," Byakuren asked, sitting down in a leather chair. "What did you need to see me about, Toyosatomimi? I hope it's not a matter of hostility."

"…not in the least," the Saint said softly. She was so sure of herself when she came here to declare an end to the rivalries between the Dream Palace Mausoleum and the Myouren Temple, but now that she was here, speaking to Byakuren in person…it somehow sucked out most of her confidence to be here for such a purpose, with her followers all across town. "It's a matter of…"

"Complications? Confession?"

"…peace."

"Peace, you say?" Now the Youchrist was getting excited, and the glow in her eyes said it. "Please, by all means, continue. Don't be shy, whatever you have to say, just go ahead and say it!" Was she really here to say it? Were the words Byakuren wanted to hear for so long finally about to become a reality?

"I've come to renounce the hostilities between the Dream Palace Mausoleum and the Myouren Temple. Even if I can't fully accept it yet, you were entirely correct yesterday, Byakuren. From this moment onward…we are no longer enemies."

"Oh, that is simply the greatest news I've heard in months! I insist that you bring your followers to the temple tonight for a feast to celebrate! I'll ensure that Nazrin and Murasa put all their efforts behind tonight's meals! Tell me, what kinds of foods do your followers enjoy? I'll go out and buy something for everybody right away!"

Byakuren's enthusiasm was enough to stun the Saint right in her chair. "A feast? Let me think…" The types of food that everybody liked, was it? Best to start with herself and work down from there.

* * *

**And you thought the chapter title referred to Byakuren, didn't you? Gotcha!**

**A feast for thirteen people (as well as Yoshika being a member of the Hungry Trio) sounds pretty great, but…**

…**putting all that food in one room is actually pretty dangerous. There's ghost stories where people die of starvation when they try to have big feasts in Gensokyo. They'd better put some anti-ghost barriers at the front door and in all the windows, or else Yuyuko might end up popping in and eating all the food (and dishes) before anybody else can XD**


	3. Chapter 3: Heian Paradise

**This is the second chapter I've written today (the first chapter was written the day before two and three) and I really like this fanfic. Non-plot fanfics like this, like I said before, are a great way to teach myself how I interpret the personalities of different characters. I think that I'm really doing a good job at that. I had a Murasa chapter, and then a Byakuren (or Toyosatomimi) chapter, and now this one is kinda focused around having a bit of everybody at the start and the second half is a lot about Nue. The next couple of chapters, you can expect the two biggest characters to probably be Byakuren and Nue.**

**But then again, I'm not quite sure what to expect myself, so don't take my word for it ^_^;**

* * *

Sunset at the Myouren Temple. Murasa and Nazrin had to work harder than usual, and even with the two plus all of Nazrin's mice, they simply couldn't prepare for this wonderful feast in time. That was why two more faces were in the kitchen today. Shou Toramaru and Byakuren Hijiri herself. "Okay," the Youchrist said, ready to cook. "You lot work on the things for us here at the Myouren Temple; Shou and I will prepare the dishes for the Taoists. Whichever team finishes first can help with the remaining meals." It was a truly rare occasion that either of these two stepped in to help with the cooking; usually the small army of Nazrin, Murasa, and the mice were able to handle it all on their own. Today, though, they needed to make twelve meals in sixty minutes, and it was something that required two more pairs of arms; arms that were provided by Shou and Byakuren. "Let's begin! We don't want to leave our new friends waiting for their food, do we?"

* * *

**An hour later; Myouren Temple's dining room…**

"Let's dig in," Yoshika shouted. Only…digging in was a bit tougher for the jiang shi. Her arms, they were stuck out in front of her, and even sitting down was a little awkward because of her stiff knees. So…

"How come you're not eating," Nue asked between bites of beef. "Or is it a little tougher than that?"

"My arms are stuck like this and I can't pick up the fork to-" _CHING!_ Next thing the jiang shi knew, her food was impaled by a blue pitchfork, with the hand holding it belonging to the youkai sitting across from her. "Hey, be careful with that thing!"

"Open your mouth. You want to eat too, right?"

"Yeah, so-MM!" Nue didn't even bother to warn her that she was going to do that! However, the delicious meat was completely worth it in her opinion.

"Tasty, right? I hear it was prepared by Byakuren herself!"

* * *

"Well, I'm certainly the kind who knows about boats," Murasa boasted upon hearing that Mononobe had a small boat of her own. "Truth is, this temple used to _be_ a boat, gifted to me by Lady Hijiri and modeled after the boat I captained in life. Then we went ahead and remodeled it into a temple and named it after her brother, although…I kinda miss the boat. Being a sailor with no boat really sucks, I've gotta tell you."

"Perhaps you could join me on my boat for a short trip on the water," Mononobe proposed between bites of rice. She and Toyosatomimi ate identical (and equally plain) meals of bread, rice, and stuff that was just plain…plain. "I believe you mentioned that you were formerly a captain of some sort?"

"That's right; I'm none other than Captain Murasa! I'm sure you, being from the outside world and having a boat, have heard of my legendary naval triumphs against all odds!"

"I believe your lifespan began quite a ways after my time. All I've ever heard of you is that you're the ghostly sailor living here at the Myouren Temple."

"Y-You…you've gotta be kidding! You've never heard of my infamous Anchor Cannon?"

"No."

"…I've decided. As soon as we're done eating, we've gotta get on your boat and not touch land until I've told you all the amazing and unbelievable stories that made me the navy legend I am."

"If you think it's best."

* * *

"Everybody's getting along wonderfully," Byakuren beamed from her seat across from Toyosatomimi's. "See? Aren't you glad that you decided to go through with this?"

"Now that I'm seeing for myself how great your people and mine get along, I'm very glad indeed. I haven't seen anybody this full of life since my resurrection. It fills my heart with joy to see them all so pleased with themselves; life has been getting rather dull at the Dream Palace Mausoleum, but with such colorful characters as the ones living in your temple to be called friends, I'm sure things will become much more fun, for all parties involved."

"Oh believe me, we have quite the time around here. Just yesterday, actually, there was quite a scene between Murasa and Nue. I believe that, Kyouko aside, those two are certainly the most childish of the group."

"Please do tell what happened."

"Well, you see…" Byakuren then saw it out of the corner of her eye; the deathly glare Nue was shooting straight at her. "…I think I'll decline, for Nue's pride."

"That's a shame. With only five people living in the Dream Palace Mausoleum, things get dull after a while, but add in your temple's seven, and we have twelve people in all."

"It sounds like quite a group, doesn't it? I'm sure our little family here is exactly what your followers need to spice up their lives!"

"I couldn't agree more if-"

"Attention everybody," Byakuren said over the numerous conversations at the table. "I would like to propose a toast! First and foremost, a toast to the newfound friendship between those of us here at the Myouren Temple, and the wonderful people living at the Dream Palace Mausoleum!"

"Cheers," Everybody said in unison.

"Secondly, to this absolutely delicious feast. My compliments to the chefs who worked behind the scenes," Byakuren said brightly, winking over to Murasa and Nue. The only reason Shou didn't get the wink was because she was sitting right next to Byakuren and could probably almost feel the warmth of Byakuren's appreciation. "And lastly, to an altogether wonderful year we've been having so far! December begins tomorrow, and I'm sure that with five more people added to our lives, everybody here is going to see quite a Christmas this year! And I believe Toyosatomimi here would like to say something as well?"

"In fact," the Saint said, standing up as well. "I would also like to propose a toast. It was going to be to the newfound friendship between my people and yours, Byakuren, but since you've already done that toast…here's to a relationship that will hopefully only improve with time. I'm still not sure how to feel about the idea of absolute world peace, but for now, I have no enemies, and that's good enough for somebody who is just now getting to know what the Myouren Temple is like."

* * *

**Some days later…**

"Don't come any…hey, Nazrin!" Nazrin wasn't the most frequent visitor to the Dream Palace Mausoleum (aside from Byakuren, it was Nue) but Yoshika enjoyed when the tiny clever commander came by every now and then. It wasn't like she was unwelcome or anything, and ever since that awesome feast a few days back, everybody was becoming pretty friendly with each other. It was snowing lightly today, and Yoshika just loved the way everything got covered in a thin white blanket when it snowed. "Christmas is coming up, you know. Only…uh…"

"Eighteen days," the mouse youkai said. "I've been counting down since the month started. Anyway, I came to ask on Nue's behalf because she's too shy to do it herself, and don't tell her I came and asked you this, but…what kind of gift do you think she should get you? Like, when you wake up on Christmas morning, and all your gifts are there, what would Nue want to get to really make your day? Don't worry; I won't tell her what it is."

"The best gift? Hm…how about a coat?"

"That's it? She can get just about anywhere; you don't have to be modest with what kind of gift you want, Yoshika."

"Nah, a coat's fine with me. I have to do most of my gatekeeper stuff from inside during the winter; I have to actually head back in soon. Everybody else always forgets to just buy me a nice warm coat. So that's all I really want for Christmas. Wait…you aren't gonna steal the idea for yourself, are you?"

"I wouldn't dream of it! You head inside if you've got to; I have to start heading back myself. Meals to cook and all."

"Okay. Oh, hey," Yoshika called out to the mouse youkai as she started heading back to the Myouren Temple. "Bring me back a nice hot steak!"

"Will do," Nazrin called back. Then she turned a corner around a building to get out of Yoshika's line of sight, and as soon as she was sure the jiang she couldn't see her anymore, her gray hair started going black; her mouse ears and tail began to disappear. "A coat," Nue said to herself. "Gotta get her a coat. And a steak!" Crap! Nue had no idea what today's lunch would be! If there wasn't any steak, Nue would have to prepare one herself, and there was a very good reason Nue wasn't (allowed to be) on cooking duty. Last time she tried to make something, the Myouren Temple nearly lost its kitchen.

* * *

**Not much later; the Myouren Temple's kitchen…**

"And that should do it," Nazrin said happily, putting the finishing touches on today's lunches. _SLAM!_ For Nazrin's mouse ears, the slamming of the door was like a massive explosion going off right inside her head, and it forced her to put her hands over her ears. "Aah! Who is it?"

"I need an extra steak today," Nue said, panting from lack of breath. "Nobody in town has any for sale and I can't make one myself; I need you to make it please!"

"Jeez, Nue, calm down. You're like Miss Shou running away from a wolf with the way you're bursting in and all. I'll get cracking on your steak when we finish eating, but for now, could you help me bring these out? Usually Murasa's here to give me a hand, but…" Murasa was sick. How a ghost got sick was anybody's guess, but she was sick. It was bad, too. She'd be fine though; everybody knew that whatever got thrown Murasa's way, she'd tough it out and come out a bit better than she was before. Handing Nue a few plates covered in food, the mouse youkai continued "I've gotta tell you, cooking duty is a lot harder without Murasa here, and I'm sure she'd say the same if I weren't around. How is it that you don't have any duties here at the Myouren Temple, Nue?"

"Huh?"

"Well, Lady Hijiri runs the place, Shou's her right-hand woman, Ichirin and Unzan guard the place together, and Murasa and I deal with cooking. Then there's Kyouko who just moved in and decided to take it upon herself to clean the place up. That just leaves you."

"W-Well, I…"

"I'm kidding! You've been acting a bit differently since the Mausoleum folks became all friendly with us, you know that? What's going on with you?"

"I'd rather not discuss it. Oh, by the way, I need to ask you something. Just a tiny favor."

"Name it."

"If Yoshika starts talking about a conversation you don't remember having, just pretend like you forgot about the conversation and act natural, alright?"

"Okay, I suppose…" Now it was ringing in her head. Nazrin wasn't really certain of what was causing this change in Nue's behavior, but just from that tiny favor, the tiny clever commander was starting to get an idea of just what it was…

* * *

**The adorable crack-pairing of Nue and Yoshika was just something that hit me when Nue was feeding Yoshika at the feast. Originally, I had the idea that Nue would keep doing these kinds of things (asking questions, delivering food, etc.) under the guise of Nazrin, and Yoshika would end up developing feelings for her instead of Nue, but I'm not quite sure whether or not I still want to do that. I want this to be a light fanfic with the darkest moment in the anticipatable future being Byakuren having a mental breakdown within the next…within the next five chapters, but even that may be averted thanks to the newfound friendship found in the Dream Palace Mausoleum.**

**Regarding the Youchrist's possible meltdown, here's a hint for frequent Danbooru users. Have you ever seen the Byakuren post with the mirrored text? Christmas is coming up in the fanfic, so…do the math as to what may happen. Of course, I doubt it will :D just best to have a backup plan in case the lovely characters that star in this fanfic start telling me what to do.**

**Back to the topic of pairings to end this author note, two other pairings you can probably look forward to are Murasa and Mononobe, and the canon-forbidden love of Byakuren and Toyosatomimi! And depending on if I get my wish granted to resurrect Myouren, there may even be some Myouren x Shou in this for no good reason!**

**Alright, brainstorming time…how does one go about bringing Myouren back from the dead?**


	4. Chapter 4: Countdown to Christmas

**Writing can be tough sometimes if you think too much about what already happened in the story, especially with freeform fanfics like this one. Scatman John taught me that in part, though he was probably talking more about how to live a happy life than how to write fanfiction ^_^;**

**I really should listen to him more often. As great as Touhou music is, it gets kind of old after a while, especially if at least 50% of your music is related to the series. Maybe I should make a playlist of all my non-Touhou songs so that I can take a break from the epic music when I need to.**

* * *

**Eleven days to Christmas…**

"Alright," Byakuren said, addressing the Myouren Temple residents in front of her.

* * *

"Okay," Toyosatomimi said, looking at the other Taoists of the Dream Palace Mausoleum.

* * *

"As you all know, there's ten days left until Christmas Eve. Buying a gift for everybody is something we've always done here, but I suspect we'll all be a little busier this year from five more gifts to buy apiece. I'm not sure if Toyosatomimi and her crew celebrate Christmas or not, but she and I have already discussed it over and Christmas this year is going to be at their Mausoleum to symbolize the peace that we all came to right before the start of the month."

"That's quite an idea, Byakuren," Shou said admirably.

"It just sort of came off the top of my head~"

* * *

"I'm sure at least a couple of you noticed that there have been new additions to the Dream Palace Mausoleum, both in faces and construction. While none of the new faces around here aside from the Myouren crew are specifically significant, the new halls that have been built around here are to accommodate the eight new visitors we're having this Christmas. Byakuren and her followers are coming here to symbolize the melting away of past hostilities and a new era of peace between them and us, so I won't condone roughhousing."

"When did you ever condone roughhousing in your mausoleum anyway," Seiga asked.

"Now that you mention it, I never have. And I won't start anytime soon."

* * *

"Alright," Byakuren and Toyosatomimi said to their followers. "I'd say it's about time to get some Christmas shopping done. But first, we'd better decorate."

* * *

**Ten days to Christmas…**

"Yoshika, be a dear and hold these for a little bit," Seiga said kindly, handing her cute underling a long string of numerous colored lights. "One of the most important parts of Christmas is the colored lights, or so I've observed." It was kind of hard to _not_ make such an observation; the entire Human Village was lined with lights of various colors, and even at night the place was beautifully alight. In fact, the snow-covered Human Village was an even greater sight at night _because_ of the thousands of lights that were along the walls and roofs of its buildings. "It truly is the most wonderful time of the year, isn't it?"

"Hmm…" Was it really the best time of the year? Christmas was cold, and for a jiang shi, while one would assume the dead had no issue with cold weather, that was because they were rotted. Yoshika, who took exceptional care of her hygiene, still suffered from wintry weather. So on the up side, people exchanged presents and the entire world seemed to light up in a brilliant plethora of colors. On the down side, it was cold and when Yoshika got cold, she got hungry. "I kinda like Halloween better."

"Really? Why's that," Seiga asked, floating up along the walls and hanging up lights.

"Because people dress up in costumes and I meet lots of other jiang shi like me!"

"Um, Yoshika…I don't think they're really jiang shi as well. They're just people wearing costumes, dear."

"…I still get lots of delicious treats!"

"Indeed you do." Halloween night was the one night of the year that Seiga took over for Yoshika's gatekeeper duties so the jiang shi could run around and collect delicious sweets to munch on the following day, but Yoshika usually just came back with an empty basket and a large pile of candy wrappers.

* * *

"They look great," Byakuren called up to Murasa. She was watching the ghostly sailor hang up the Christmas lights, and like always, she was doing an exceptional job with it. "How do you arrange the lights so well, Murasa?"

"Because I understand everything about boats," Murasa called back down. Standing up on this icy roof without any kind of support was probably a bad idea, but what was the worst that could happen to somebody that was already dead? "I was born on one, died on one, and now I live in a temple that used to _be _one."

"Speaking of death, be careful up there! I don't want you to slip and break your leg like last year!"

"That was only a fluke," Murasa said boldly. "Spending a lot of my life on the sea, I learned how to establish and hold my footing, okay? Quit worrying so much and-WHAAAA!" _CRASH!_ Murasa slipped. At least she was uninjured by some miracle.

"I hate to say I told you so, but…"

* * *

**Eight days until Christmas…**

"It looks great," Toyosatomimi said, looking at the decorated Dream Palace Mausoleum. "Very Christmas-y. Now that we're done with that, we'd best get to the Christmas shopping. Remember, everybody buys one gift each for everybody else, so we're all buying a total of eleven presents each. It sounds kind of daunting, but just take it one step at a time and we should be done soon enough." Toyosatomimi already knew most of what she was going to buy. And she already had Byakuren's present set aside. And the greatest part was, nobody would ever find it, no matter how hard they searched. Not even Nazrin or Shou would be able to find what Toyosatomimi was getting.

"Goodness, you bought all of those today, Nue?" Byakuren was shocked to say the least. In Nue's arms were boxed gifts for, if Byakuren was counting right, nine of the eleven she had to buy presents for. "May I ask which presents are for who?"

"Of course not," Nue teased, walking right past the Youchrist in the hallways. She had to get all of this into her room and hide it so that nobody could sneak into her room and try to find out what they were getting. Nobody took the secrecy of their gifts as seriously as Nue did; Byakuren and Shou left their purchased and wrapped gifts under the tree whenever they bought them, and everybody else usually let the receiver of the gift shake the box to get an idea of what was inside. Nue was the only one who didn't. The only gifts left at this point were those for most of the people at the Myouren Temple; only Murasa's gift was purchased as of yet out of the others here at the temple.

* * *

**Three days until Christmas…**

All the gifts were purchased for this Christmas, and Toyosatomimi had invited the Myouren Temple crew down to the Dream Palace Mausoleum for a great feast to celebrate the upcoming Christmas the two establishments were about to celebrate together; Byakuren promised to fund and cook the food when it was actually Christmas in exchange for this sudden generous dinner.

"It's delicious," Byakuren complimented. Better than the food at the Myouren Temple in its own ways, but on the other hand, Myouren meals were better in their own respects. "How did you and your followers make this, again?"

"Long-lived family secret," Yoshika answered for her Saint, the zombified girl taking in another bite Nue fed to her; it was easiest for everybody this way, Yoshika figured. "Little-known fact is that I was a chef in life, and my family's secrets in the kitchen were buried with me. Then Miss Seiga came and resurrected me, and now the Miyako family secrets are alive once again, but only from me."

"You don't meant to imply you cooked this? I imagine that it would not only be difficult with your arms as they are, but those poisonous nails of yours would make it…hazardous." As delicious as this food was, it wasn't something Byakuren was willing to die for. No, the "to die for" slot was already reserved for world peace. "Also, I have an important announcement for everybody."

"I hope it isn't bad news," Toyosatomimi said, listening intently to what Byakuren had to say.

"I'll have to remain at the Myouren Temple this Christmas. Leaving it unattended would be downright silly; no telling what kind of folks would try to break in and try to steal my valuables." Witches dressed in black and white came to mind in particular.

"That's most unfortunate. Shall I bring your presents to the Myouren Temple personally?"

"Oh, there's no need for that," Byakuren said, waving off Toyosatomimi's self-invitation into the Myouren Temple. "I'll just come by and pick them up the day after."

"…" Toyosatomimi looked cautiously at Byakuren. Toyosatomimi had to deliver her gift on Christmas, anyway, whether Byakuren wanted her to or not. Any other day and it would lose all of its value. It cost her nothing to buy but a moment of her time, and to anybody but Byakuren, it would be taken for granted. It was the perfect gift to get for her. If anybody else had gotten it for her in the past, Toyosatomimi wouldn't have known how badly Byakuren wanted the single gift nobody would give her.

* * *

**Late at night on Christmas Eve; Myouren Temple…**

Hey, I'm going to head out to the Mausoleum early," Nue said to her peaceful leader who currently stood next to Shou, making her way out the front door as she informed Byakuren of her soon-to-be whereabouts.

"Enjoy yourself, Nue."

"Mononobe told me the stars are best seen on Christmas Eve," Murasa said, following Nue out the front door. "I'm going to go see her about that."

"Have a nice time, Murasa."

"Unzan and I are stepping out," Seiga said, riding out on the back of the pink cloud youkai. "We usually get the best stargazing view from the skies themselves on Christmas Eve, but I usually fall asleep up there with the thin air and all. I'll see you tomorrow, alright?"

"You two enjoy yourselves. I'm sure Murasa and Mononobe would love to join you up there."

"Hate to say it," Nazrin said, walking past both Shou and Byakuren. "But I've gotta make sure Nue doesn't do anything she shouldn't. People like her have a penchant for getting in trouble, so if you'll excuse me."

"Watch out for those Yakumo people," Byakuren said cautiously as Nazrin left. The mouse youkai was known to be at odds with one of the Yakumo family, but Byakuren wasn't quite sure which one; she'd yet to meet any of them in person. "That just leaves us, Shou."

"Indeed it does. But I'll need to be on my way as well come morning; I'd hate to disappoint the Taoists by not showing up without explaining beforehand on the first major event we'll be sharing together. If you'd like, I'll bring back your gifts."

"Oh, there's no need for that. Like I said the other day, I'll just go pick them up the day after."

"If you insist," Shou said as the two made their way down the hallways to the bedrooms.

Along the way, Byakuren looked at the first clock she could find. Eight o'clock on the button in the PM hours. Four more hours until Christmas started. Only four hours left…

* * *

**Remember when I mentioned something earlier? About someone doing something? I've done an excellent job of setting that up, and Toyosatomimi's present is something that is exactly what I said it was; taken for granted by all but Byakuren, but priceless for the Youchrist. If Toyosatomimi gave her the gift on any other day of the year, it would lose all of its value, and it's something nobody had given her for Christmas.**

**Any ideas what it is? I'd like to hear what you have in mind!**


	5. Chapter 5: Christmas, Part 1

**There's dark fluff in this chapter. Also, if the number of people combined between the Myouren Temple and the Dream Palace Mausoleum seems to keep changing, it's because I've suddenly became really bad at math and counting. If I'm doing the numbers right, it should be twelve. Lemme just name them all off below…**

**Nazrin, Ichirin, Murasa, Shou, Byakuren, Nue, Kyouko, Yoshika, Seiga, Tojiko, Mononobe, Toyosatomimi…**

**Yeah, twelve :D**

**Awesome. Now that I know how many people are there (for some retarded reason, I kept getting the impression over the last few chapters that there were 18 in all, wtf?) it should be lots easier to do this. This chapter focuses on Byakuren and Toyosatomimi, and also on Nue and Yoshika.**

* * *

Christmas morning. Byakuren's eyes opened as she accepted that fact. Today was Christmas, and the Myouren Temple was still running as usual. Everybody else was out having Christmas with the Taoists, but Byakuren was still here. Yes, she was still here, alone. All alone, by herself, with nobody else there. Complete solitude…

* * *

"Has anybody seen Saint Toyosatomimi," Mononobe asked, watching everybody unwrap their presents and light up with joy. Yoshika seemed especially pleased with the coat that Nue had bought her, the shikaisen noted. All the gifts Saint Toyosatomimi bought were here under the tree, but the purchaser was nowhere to be seen. Mononobe had checked every corner of the Dream Palace Mausoleum, but there wasn't any sign of her.

* * *

**Myouren Temple…**

_Creak…_ The door seemed so much quieter when Toyosatomimi was here last. Maybe because Byakuren had insisted she don't visit. That was something the Saint couldn't comply with; she had to visit today specifically because Byakuren didn't want her to. Her Christmas gift was already with her; she'd gotten it the second she decided what would be best to get Byakuren. But nobody would ever find it, no matter how hard they looked. Indeed, the only person who would see the present was the Youchrist herself. Taking a few steps into the temple, Toyosatomimi kept her head low. She wanted to be careful; she'd heard…stories, about how Byakuren was rather different on Christmas than she was during any other day. Because of her power to hear the desires of a person, she knew just why that was. That was why she'd chosen this gift.

_SLAM!_ The Saint barely had the time to dodge it; one of Murasa's anchors thrown right at her with all of Byakuren's eternally young might. She did, though, and just as she suspected, out from the shadows stepped the person responsible for nearly breaking Toyosatomimi's bones.

Byakuren. Only, she certainly didn't look like the bubbly Youchrist everybody loved. Her long gradient hair was a mess, and her expression was very much unlike what anybody would expect to see on her face. It was impossible to tell what it really was, though. Fear? Anger? Despair? A combination of the three? Whatever it was, she didn't look happy to see somebody else in her temple.

"Easy there," Toyosatomimi said softly, stepping up to where Byakuren would be able to see her; the lights were all off for whatever reason, so the only light was whatever the sun gave them. "It's only me, Byakuren."

"Go away," the Youchrist pleaded. "I told you to not come by."

"I need to deliver my Christmas present; nobody else would be able to do it for me."

"I'll get it tomorrow."

"You can't. It's something I can only give you _today_, or it will lose all of its value." Slowly walking up to Byakuren, the Saint continued "I knew exactly what to get you the second I started figuring out presents. With the ability to read a person's desires, yours was the strongest and the loudest in the entire Human Village. My present cost me nothing but the time it took to get here, weighs nothing, and I'm sure nobody else would be able to appreciate it's value like you would."

"I'll come by-"

"You can't. It's not a physical thing." Toyosatomimi no Miko and Byakuren Hijiri, inches away from each other. From here, the Saint could see that earlier, Byakuren was crying. Yes, she certainly needed this present. Toyosatomimi wrapped her arms around the Youchrist, and said "You aren't alone, Byakuren. You'll never be alone anymore."

"…" Tears. Tears of joy, mind, but lots of them regardless. "Thank you!" Byakuren hugged Toyosatomimi as tightly as she could, and joyously said "Thank you so much; I can't imagine how I can thank you enough. I never want to have to experience that again."

"It's no problem. If you don't mind my asking, though, why are you so afraid of being alone?"

"Do you know of a place called Hokkai?"

"I can't say I do, no."

"It was dark there. I couldn't see anything, and there wasn't anything to hear." Going on about the biggest dark patch in Byakuren's bright life, she said "People in the outside world were afraid of me, because I was a youkai, and they sealed me away there, so long ago. I spent so long in Hokkai, all by myself completely and entirely, kept alive only by my immortality. The first few days were okay, but after that, I began thinking thoughts. Dark thoughts, Toyosatomimi; frightening thoughts. I can't count the number of times I had wished in that place that I would just die forever, or how many times I wanted to break free and avenge myself against those people, who I felt were so ignorant and childish. I guess it left me a little unstable, and I always begin thinking those kinds of things when I'm alone completely. That's why I'm always with somebody; Christmas aside, I've always had somebody within my arm's reach after I was freed from Hokkai."

"That's a terrible fate. I can understand how that would change a person, but you don't have to be afraid of solitude any longer, Byakuren. This is my present; I'll be here with you. Today, and any time you need company. I'll always be around for you, Byakuren."

"…"

"Are you okay?"

"Thank you," Byakuren whispered. "Let's go back to the Mausoleum."

"Alright. We'll go back, together."

* * *

**Dream Palace Mausoleum…**

"I love it," Yoshika said happily, standing faithfully outside the Mausoleum wearing the coat Nue bought her. "Thank you so much, Nue!"

"Don't worry about it. I figured you must get cold out here, so I decided a coat would be a nice thing to buy." No way was Nue going to divulge the secret as to how she knew to buy a coat. That would end in disaster. "I also liked your present very much, Yoshika. Thanks a lot for the jacket." A black leather one; Nue was wearing right now. She'd always wanted a leather jacket, but was kind of embarrassed to tell anybody for some strange reason. "How did you know I wanted one?"

"I figured you'd look cool in black leather," Yoshika answered honestly. "And I think I was right."

"That means a lot, thanks." Looking out at the distance, Nue's eyes widened in surprise. "Well I'll be…" Cupping her hands around her mouth, Nue shouted "How'd you get Hijiri out of the temple? And where were you all this time?"

"I had something important to do," Toyosatomimi shouted back. "Far more important than anything related to any material possessions."

"Oh." Nue watched the two walk by, seeing just out the corner of her eye that the two were holding hands. _Hijiri, you seductress! Looks like Toyosatomimi just couldn't resist you, huh? We Myouren folks sure do_ "seem to have a thing for dead folks."

"What about dead folks," Yoshika asked.

"A-Ah! Did I say that out loud?"

"Part of it."

"O-Oh…I see." Nue faced away from Yoshika, turning a ruby red at the face. "It's nothing, Yoshika; just me thinking out loud on accident. Just ignore it and pretend like it never happened; it was pretty insignificant as a thought, anyway."

"If you say so."

"…"

"Something wrong?"

"Nah, I'm fine." Nue looked around at her surroundings. She knew she'd find a bit somewhere if she looked. There! Above the doors of the Mausoleum. Nue subtly moved her pitchfork to pick up what was hanging there, just as subtly pointing it straight up afterwards. Nue, ever the planning little fiend, looked up, and in pretend surprise, asked "Hey, isn't that mistletoe?"

"Huh?" Yoshika looked up as well, and behold, it was indeed. "I guess it is."

"Well, you can't really go about breaking Christmas traditions, so…" _SMOOCH!_ One solid kiss, planted right on Yoshika's lips. "Merry Christmas."

"And a happy New Year," Yoshika said. "Oh, by the way."

"Yeah?"

"Murasa told me you cook at the Myouren Temple. Is that true?"

"!" Was that ghostly captain sabotaging her? Nue's cooking was horrendous at best; certainly not something that would be enjoyable to anybody in the least, especially the jiang shi with the bottomless iron stomach! Storming into the Mausoleum, Nue shouted "**Murasa!**"

* * *

"**Murasa!**"

"Whoops, that's my cue to go," the ghostly captain said, climbing out one of the windows of the Mausoleum. Looking down at Mononobe, she said "You're going to forever remember this as the day that Nue _almost_ caught…Captain Murasa Minamitsu." Being Murasa, though, when she started to think she sounded cool, she couldn't stop herself. "Master of the seven seas; the bane of all opposing navies, the one and only. And she _almost_ caught-" _CHING!_ Murasa's neck now found itself between two prongs of a blue-tipped pitchfork. "Damn. She caught me. Oh, hey look, mistletoe."

"You should have stopped gloating," Mononobe said. "If your intention was to escape, you should have gotten right on it."

"Yeah I guess…hey there, Nue. How's your day been?"

Pulling her trusty pitchfork out of the wall (mistletoe included) and gripping Murasa by the sleeve of her shirt before she had the chance to run, Nue angrily asked "Are you _trying_ to sabotage me or something?"

"Dunno what you're talking about."

"You told Yoshika that I cooked at the temple! You know there's a reason I'm not even allowed to step in the kitchen!"

"You'd better learn, then. Somebody like Yoshika? She's got quite an appetite, so the best way into her heart is through her stomach, Nue."

"…" Nue turned bright red. Did Murasa know or something? "And who did you plan on me learning from? You?"

"Not me. Byakuren." Murasa was head chef at the Myouren Temple, and she was great in the kitchen, but she faded in comparison to the dishes Byakuren was capable of creating on the rare occasions that she cooked. Much like how she'd just recently told Murasa that she intended to personally prepare a Christmas feast for everybody. Her stomach already was rumbling in anticipation. "Go find her, quickly now. She's got a Christmas feast for twelve to make, so I'll bet she's gotta start working at it soon."

"O-Oh! Yeah, sure!" Nue didn't want to thank Murasa, though; that would imply that she was right. Even though she probably was. Somebody with an appetite like Yoshika's? That jiang shi could probably eat the entire feast if everybody let her. The best route to her heart was certainly through her stomach. If Nue was going to thank Murasa, she'd need to confirm the ghostly sailor's theory first. For now, she needed to find Byakuren!

* * *

"You've already thanked me enough," Toyosatomimi said nervously, waving off Byakuren's continued thanks. "More than enough. Just consider it my apology for being so stubbornly against your point of view in the past."

"Apology accepted," Byakuren said happily. Christmas wasn't a day to dread any longer. She'd been so busy catching up with what everybody got, though, that the Youchrist hadn't even had time to open her own gifts just yet! She would do that after the feast; for now she had to prepare said feast. Twelve people was quite a few-

_SLAM!_ "Hijiri," Nue panted. "Teach me to cook!"

"Huh? This is awfully sudden. But I don't see why not. Come along, we need to start now if we're going to make a Christmas feast for everybody; I've been warned that Yoshika has quite an appetite."

"I'll deal with her food if you just take care of the rest," Nue promised as the two started heading out of the room.

* * *

**I should do a chapter starring Kyouko soon. Adorable lil' Kyouko-chan could make for either the cutest or funnies chapter in this entire fanfic (so far) so I need to do something with her. Maybe in a couple chapters, have a New Year's party at the Myouren Temple where everybody gets obscenely drunk except sober little Kyouko who keeps trying (and failing) to keep the temple cleaned up after eleven drunks.**

**I don't intend to have one starring Tojiko anytime soon, though; she's the least important Taoist and I know absolutely nothing about her, so she gets to keep the bench warm until I study up on the most irritating mid-boss.**


	6. Chapter 6: Eat Up, Everyone!

**This one's entirely about Nue. There seem to be a lot of chapters about Nue recently, but that's because developing the relationship between her and Yoshika is such cute and innocent fun that I can't help myself. I take on the writing style of Sayonara, Zetsubou-Sensei near the end here, or at least that's what I think.**

**Anyway, I think the next chapter's going to be about either Shou or Murasa. I want to REALLY develop the Myouren crew before I start with the Taoists, and the two groups are best developed alongside each other methinks. Enjoy this silly Nue-centric chapter, everybody!**

**Also, whoever gets the reference in the chapter title, you may already have an idea of where this is going…**

* * *

"Wow…the kitchen seems bigger since last time I was here," Nue said, not really looking at Byakuren. Maybe she just remembered it being smaller because by the time she left last time, it was in utter chaos. Then something small and gray scurried across her field of vision. "Mouse!"

"WaitNuedon'tkill-"

_SLAM!_ Mouse was crushed under the end of Nue's pitchfork.

"…"

"Sorry, what were you saying?"

"I was saying to not kill the mice in here; they're Nazrin's mice and help us out in here. They're very hygienic mice, so our food stays healthy. Although, it's also why we're always rather short on cheese."

"Oh…oops."

"That was her favorite one, too…"

"!" Nue started panicking. "I-I swear, it was just an accident! I, well, I mean, I didn't have any idea that these mice were good mice! Oh my god, how am I going to tell Nazrin what I did here?" Slamming her face against the counter, Nue shouted "I haven't even started cooking yet and I already screwed up!"

"Nue, I'm just kidding! Nazrin was about to discharge that one anyway; he'd been doing nothing around here but eating our food."

The nue's face shot off of the counter, albeit with a large mark on the forehead, and glared right at a grinning Byakuren. "That wasn't funny at all! You almost gave me a heart attack!"

"Lesson one of cooking. You've gotta have some fun with it." Still pretty amused by Nue freaking out over thinking she killed Nazrin's favorite mouse, Byakuren asked "Now then, shall we get cooking?"

"Oh, right!"

"Great. You cook the things that I got with you and Yoshika in mind; the mice and I will deal with the rest." Opening the pantry and looking at the shelf reserved for cheese, Byakuren looked at the dozens of mice that called the pantry home, and said "Alright, guys, we've got a big Christmas feast to cook, so let's get on it. Don't help Nue out; I'm teaching her to cook so she can help out here sometimes in the future."

"Um, actually…" Should she share that it was really more to try and win Yoshika's affection than to help around the Myouren Temple's kitchen? …well, if she could do one, there was no reason she couldn't do the other. "Alright, so what's the first thing I've gotta do?"

* * *

**Insert cooking montage (BGM: Heian Alien)**

"Like this?"

"No, Nue. Do it the other way round."

"Oh."

"So which of these is the right one, again?"

"The one on the right."

"Alright."

"Be careful not to use too much."

"You've got it."

"I think that one's done, Nue."

"Oh!"

"Ha-ha. You need to pay more attention."

**End of montage**

* * *

"And it's done!" The two had been in here for a good two hours, all of which was dedicated to preparing this massive Christmas feast. There were all kinds of things, and Byakuren was glad to see that nothing blew up this time. "What do you think, Nue?"

"Hmm…" Byakuren's dishes looked amazing like always; she found presentation just as important as flavor, but Nue's… "You're sure I did this right?" Some of the things she made looked overcooked to her, and others looked like they weren't even what she was originally aiming for. Maybe she was just being too harsh on herself, though. "I mean, what if I screwed it up?"

"Only one way to find out, isn't there?"

_Creak…_ "Somebody's really gotta fix that hinge," Nazrin said as she stepped into the kitchen, obviously irritated by the creaky hinge. While it was bad for everybody, Nazrin's mouse ears got the worst of it. "Is the feast all done? I left something here and smelled cooking, and…" Nazrin paled a bit at the face. The kitchen was short one mouse, and she knew exactly which one was missing. Only one thing would make that mouse not hang around when things were cooking… "Who murdered my mouse?"

"…" Nue started slowly creeping out of the kitchen, leaving the food she made behind. "I'll just-"

"Hold it!"

"!"

"Nue, for future reference, discharging a mouse doesn't mean killing him. Sure, he was a slacker and a freeloader, but he was a good guy, with a wife and kids."

"…I'm sorry."

"I think it's his family you've gotta apologize to. You need to tell _them_ what you did. Now his wife is a widow and his dozen or so kids don't have a dad anymore."

"I-I swear, it was an accident!" Nue started panicking again. She thought it was bad when she was afraid this was Nazrin's favorite; that was nothing compared to the weight of the guilt she felt when Nazrin told her that the dead mouse had a family. "I-It's just that, I'm not really used to seeing mice besides you, and he was in the kitchen and I thought he wasn't one of yours…I did a bad thing."

"That you did. Now I've gotta play mouse matchmaker and try to get that family back on its feet." Nazrin was really only responsible for her own mice, but she felt her responsibility extended to the families of those mice as well. Sure, it wasn't like any other kind of army by a long shot, but that didn't make things any easier for the families of the rodents that served under the tiny clever commander.

"…"

"I'm kidding! His family left him a long time ago; that was why he started slacking and freeloading!"

"Dammit, Nazrin!" Why was everybody screwing with Nue today? Worst of all was that Nazrin got her way better than Byakuren had. Now she was afraid Murasa would set up something for when Nue got back to the Dream Palace Mausoleum. It was almost like everybody was out to screw with her today or something…

* * *

**A little later; Dream Palace Mausoleum's dining room…**

"It all looks good to me," Yoshika said excitedly. "Let's eat!"

"Open up," Nue said, holding out a bite of meat that she'd prepared earlier. "Someday, we should find out how to un-stiff your stiff joints. Until then, nothing wrong with this, right?"

"Not at all." _MUNCH!_

"So…does it taste good?" Moment of truth. Nue was on the verge of trembling and sweating, but she was (barely) able to keep herself under control. "I-I mean…it's not bad, is it?"

"Mmm…" _Swallow._ "Who cooked it?"

"…m-me. Why? It's bad, isn't it?"

"Huh? Well, not-"

"You don't have to candy-coat it for me; I suck as a cook!" Short of shape-shifting and causing mischief, this was probably the one thing Nue was best at. Making a scene at the worst possible time. Sort of like about a month ago when Murasa was trying to sneak into her room…

"I-I never said that…"

"Oh just go ahead. I don't care; I know I could kill humans with the atrocities I stir up; some could even go as far as to call my cooking a crime against nature!" Once she started freaking out, Nue was hard to stop. And everybody else at the table was staring. "I just wanted to do a little bit of cooking and learn from Byakuren, because I want to be a good cook; I want to make food that will make people smile _without_ needing a miracle cure from Eientei! I've tried so many times but I just can't make good food if I put everything I have behind it! Not being able to cook to even the lowest standards is such-" _THWANK!_ Anchor. Now one was planted against Nue's face, knocking Nue right onto the floor. Getting up to her feet, Nue said "Thanks, Murasa. I kind of needed that."

"I never said you were a bad cook," Yoshika said. "I mean, you're not as good as me, probably, but your food's okay just the way it is."

"You…you really mean that?"

"Sure! I think everybody should sample some of your food!"

"…"

* * *

**Five minutes later; Eientei…**

"I'm so sorry," Nue sobbed, watching ten gurneys get rushed off. Yoshika was the only one that was able to stomach Nue's food; everybody else…didn't fare so well. "I swear, it was an accident!"

"Maybe they just don't have strong enough stomachs," Yoshika said.

"I poisoned Hijiri! _Immortal_ Hijiri got food poisoning from my cooking!" She didn't even hear Yoshika's continued (and surprisingly calm) attempts to settle her down. She was too busy freaking out about how she managed to give food poisoning to two immortals, three ghosts, a shikaisen, and a handful of youkai, with only two dishes. "Why aren't you freaking out, Yoshika? This is serious! I might never be allowed to _look at_ the Myouren Temple's kitchen ever again, or even worse! I might be kicked out!" That one just about did it. Now she was out of hysteria, but delved right into the pits of despair. "They're gonna give me the boot," Nue said, sitting herself down and burying her face in her knees. "And I'll have nowhere to go. The Mausoleum won't take me in because I just poisoned nearly _all_ their residents, and Hijiri won't let me back in ever again…"

_CLICK!_ The "Operating" sign above the door lit up. Doctor Eirin was doing what she did best, and Nue was still despairing/gradually losing coherence. And Yoshika still couldn't calm her down.

As far as Christmases went, this had to be Nue's worst.

* * *

**Even Yuyuko wouldn't have been able to eat Nue's cooking. The next chapter might actually be about Nue (again) while she just waits for somebody to yell at her, and it'd be funny if nobody was actually mad at her. Also, for anybody who doesn't get the chapter title reference, it's a reference to Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann.**

**Episode 13 was called "Eat Up, Everyone!" and featured the horrendous cooking of Nia, which was eaten by every member of Team Dai-Gurren, and only Simon and Boota could tolerate her cooking; everybody else got real sick. Which is pretty much exactly what happened here. That's why I gave this chapter that title**


	7. Chapter 7: Meat Salad

**At long last, this old flame has been rekindled.**

**This fanfic needs more attention from me, I think, and with something very special in the works as you're reading this, it's probably good to get some old fanfics running again, especially this plot-less piece of temple-y joy and laughter.**

**You may wanna freshen up on the happenings of this if you forgot~**

* * *

"I can't believe I actually did this," Nue said, bordering on grieving. "Yoshika, I'm _so_ sorry."

"I'm fine," the jiang shi said cheerfully. No way was Nue going to get out of this dark gloomy mood on her own; she needed a slight push from the expert. "And I'm sure everybody else is gonna be fine too. Just a quick stomach pump is all the doctor said they needed; it's not like they're having major surgery or anything."

"…I suppose you're right."

"Just relax. I'm sure Miss Hijiri wouldn't kick you out because of an accident, and Saint Toyosatomimi isn't the kind to hold accidents against people, no matter how bad they are. By the end of the day, you'll be back home and comfy as can be, I promise."

"Thanks, Yoshika. I really had to hear that." Even if everybody else could forgive her, though, Nue had trouble forgiving herself for this. Aside from the cook herself and Yoshika the jiang shi, everybody was hospitalized with food poisoning that could have probably killed a human before they could even get here. Good thing they were all youkai…

* * *

**A few stomach pumps later****…**

"Are they alright," Nue asked the second she saw Eirin walk out.

"They're going to be okay," the doctor said. "They just need to stick around here for a day or two, and then they're all going to be back home, living life like this never even happened."

"What a relief!"

"Though, I've gotta wonder…just what the hell did they eat? I've seen pretty bad food poisoning before, but this was almost like some kind of deadly plague or something."

"Wh-What did they eat? U-Um, well…"

"They ate Nue's cooking," Yoshika said, holding out a sample of what had just sent about a dozen people to the Eientei Clinic in the first place. "It's not as bad as they say, is it?"

"Let's see…"

"No," Nue shouted, snatching the plate from Eirin's hands before she could take a bite. "Don't eat this! I can't let another person become a victim because I don't know how to cook!"

"It's just food. Besides, a healthy dose of Hourai Elixir makes me just about as immortal as one can get; how bad can this cooking possibly be?"

"…"

* * *

**One bite later****…**

"Get her to the OR, _STAT_," Reisen shouted, having to take command of the clinic for the first time in a long time. She had trouble believing that Eirin needed to be a patient in her own clinic, but all sorts of things happened in Gensokyo that wouldn't have happened back up on the moon, so who was she to judge? "Find out what's got her like this and for the love of ZUN fix it!"

"I'm so sorry," Nue shouted out after the doctor as she got rushed off on a gurney like most the residents of both the Myouren Temple and the Dream Palace Mausoleum were just a few minutes ago. "I'm _so_ sorry!"

"Do you know what happened to Miss Eirin?"

"Y-Yes…food poisoning."

"Food poisoning? Please don't make jokes; no food poisoning can be that bad."

"It's true, I swear! Everybody else got rushed here for food poisoning from the food I made, and then Eirin said that there was no way it could have been that bad, and she took a bite, and now…this!" Nue couldn't handle it. "I'll come back tomorrow to see how everybody's doing." For now, she had to get the hell out of here before anybody else said it couldn't possibly be that bad and wound up hospitalized like Eirin just was. _Immortal_ Eirin. So now, the near-casualty list was a handful of youkai, three ghosts, a shikaisen, and three immortals. Why was it that whenever something bad happened to somebody in the Myouren Temple, it _always_ had to happen to Nue? "Yoshika, can we just leave?"

"Sure," the jiang shi said with a smile on her face, hopping off her seat and following Nue out of the Eientei Clinic. "It's kinda unnerving to be in a clinic, so it's probably good for you to not hang out here."

"You can say that again."

* * *

**Later; Eientei clinic****…**

"Well, we must give her points for optimism at least," Byakuren said, looking over to one of the other hospitalized immortals. The one she knew better out of the two. "I was rather hoping to avoid eating Nue's cooking, but I won't dare say that to the poor girl's face. However, Yoshika looked rather pleased with the food."

"If anybody could stomach that, Yoshika could," Toyosatomimi agreed. "No matter how gruesome or vile, Yoshika can eat anything without getting sick. Perhaps her being a jiang shi may have something to do with it."

"Perhaps. Although, you are aware that I'll have to ask you to take up some disciplinary measures, right?"

"I'll have a word with her when we're home again."

"Okay. Don't let that girl in a kitchen again. _Ever_. Next time it may be our lives that we sacrificed so much to preserve if she gets to cook unassisted."

"I doubt it. We're immortal, after all~"

* * *

**The following afternoon; office of Byakuren Hijiri****…**

"Nue," Byakuren started, "I hope you understand why I asked to see you."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Toyosatomimi asked me to never let you in a kitchen ever again, but I think that doing so would be a little harsh. So therefore, I have a better idea, but don't tell anybody at the mausoleum that I'm doing this."

"A big secret, huh?" Nue was good at keeping secrets. Maybe not her own secrets (short of her true form) but for anybody else's secrets, Nue was one of the ultimate keepers of secrets in Gensokyo. For example, not once had she let it slip out of her mouth that a small army of mice assisted in the Myouren Temple's cooking, nor had she ever told anybody that Nazrin was lactose intolerant. Shou's colorblindness was never revealed to anybody by Nue, nor was Murasa having a very large collection of…ahem, intimate objects. Now Byakuren would have a secret as well! "Alright, what's the big secret?"

"From now until I decide to lift your punishment, you and only you will be cooking all of your meals and my dinners from now on~"

"Wh-_What?_" Was she for real? Wasn't food poisoning the thing she was being punished for? And Byakuren was punishing her by making her cook _more_? "B-But ma'am…are you sure you want to do that? Sure, m-my own meals makes sense, since I'll get food poisoning if I stir up the usual horrors I make, but why yours too?"

"That way, until you become a better cook, you'll have my health to worry about~"

"…" Nue had said it to herself a few times in the past, and now she would be able to confirm it in her mind once again. From time to time, Byakuren could be one crazy bitch. "Okay, then. S-Shall I prepare our dinners, then?"

"Yes, please. I would like a salad~"

"A veggie salad for you, and a meat salad for me."

"How does one make a meat salad?"

"You'll see at dinner," Nue teased.

* * *

**Dinner****…**

"So _that__'__s_ a meat salad…" Byakuren looked at the regular salad on the plate in front of her. Nue made it, so the odds of her going to Eientei again after dinner were dangerously high, but even so, she would force herself to eat every bite. Not only was it bad to waste food, but by eating the whole thing, her food poisoning (if she got it) would be far worse, and she may even go unconscious for a few days if yesterday's food was any indicator! "So, everybody, what were the best and worst things that happened to each of you today?"

"Won a beer-chugging contest," Murasa answered. "The loser owes me 5,000 yen now. The worst for today was that I lost to the next guy over and owe _him_ twice that."

"Got saved from this crazy nekomata," Nazrin answered between bites of bread. "And the worst was that I ran into her to begin with."

"My worst was having to resort to violence," Shou said. "But the best was that I saved Nazrin's life." Cats were cats, and cats had to learn to not get on a tiger's bad side.

"I had a relatively uneventful day," Ichirin answered honestly. "I suppose that in itself could be both the best and the worst of my day."

"Splendid, and that just leaves you, Nue. Well?"

"M-My worst?" Nue knew what her worst was. She just didn't want to say it because everybody else may freak out after yesterday's scare. Her worst was having to make dinner for herself and Byakuren. "U-Um, that we're out of beef! Yeah, that's the worst!" At least she was still being partially honest. "As for the best, lemme think…" Actually, her whole day had been crap. In the morning, Murasa had taken her prisoner for a few hours to pester her about her horrid cooking, and when she was released, Nazrin did the same. Then she'd been called over to the Dream Palace Mausoleum because Toyosatomimi wanted a word with her as well, and by the time everybody was done scolding her for being a horrendous cook, _Byakuren_ wanted to see her as well! Immediately after that, she started preparing the two dinners, and finished just in time for them to be served. Part of her figured that "Byakuren punished me" wasn't a good answer for best thing in her day.

But she smiled a little when she realized her ticket out was right in front of her. Her cooking! Nue's fork slammed into the meat-filled bowl, came out with enough meat to fill Nue's mouth entirely, and went straight into that mouth.

_THUD!_

"Nue, are you alright?"

_Swallow. _"…"

"Yes? No?"

"I-I…"

"You…finish the sentence, please."

"It's delicious…"

"Hm?"

"**I can cook!**" Nue leapt up to her feet, and once again shouted "**I can cook!**" Sitting herself back down in her seat, Nue rapidly spouted out the words "The very best thing that happened to me all day and all year is that I can cook, dammit! Since before I can even remember I was afraid to even go into a kitchen because somebody always got hurt, and I never really wanted to hurt anybody you know, I just wanted to scare 'em a little bit. Then today you told me that until further notice, I had to cook all my meals and all your dinners and I dunno how, ma'am, but all of a sudden I'm making tasty food!" _Pant__…__gasp__…_ "_That_…is the best thing that happened to me today!"

"Brilliant. You're now ready for your punishment to be lifted." With that, Byakuren looked back to her own dinner. "Did you know that I used the same method to teach Murasa how to cook?"

"True story," Murasa added. "She told me afterwards that it's because the most basic instinct of any being is to preserve themselves, and when faced with that kind of situation, you end up becoming a better cook, even if it's only subconsciously. Once you hit that part, you'll consciously learn how to be a better cook…or something like that…hey, Nue, where're you going?"

"Across town," Nue shouted on her way out, with the bowl of meaty salad in her arms. "You guys eat, I'll see you tomorrow, right?""

* * *

**Yay, she knows how to cook now!**

**I just now thought of a fanfic starring a crazy Byakuren trying to get her enemy Toyosatomimi out of the picture. That would be a good thing, for certain, and imagining the scenes of Toyosatomimi freaking out near the end is telling me that I must certainly do it sometime…**

**After a couple more chapters in this, and after I start my super-special hilarious crossover fic.**


	8. Chapter 8: Murasa Has A Plan

**It's about time this got an update, I think.**

**I wrote this story so it could be about ALL of the Myouren crew, but so far it seems to only be about Nue. Thankfully, that changed in this chapter, which is mostly about Murasa and a little bit about Shou as well, and a couple chapters in the future will probably be about Shou as well. Speaking of Shou…nah, you'll see by the end of the chapter :D**

* * *

"She ran off in a hurry," Murasa said, going back to her dinner like it never even happened. "I wonder why?"

"I have an idea," a tiny clever commander answered. "When Christmas was coming up, Nue burst into the kitchen asking for an extra steak with her dinner. Meanwhile, that very night, the extra disappeared in the middle of the meal, and I _know_ she couldn't eat it that fast. She'd also asked me to just go along with whatever was said to me if Yoshika started talking about a conversation I don't remember having." Getting up to her feet, Nazrin boldly finished "Ladies, I believe our Nue has developed a crush on Yoshika Miyako!"

"No way!"

"You're kidding!"

"On Yoshika?"

"I knew it all along~" Byakuren was the only one who didn't look surprised. "I was paying attention to Nue's actions when I thought she was acting a little odd, which was on the same day that we had our first meal at the Mausoleum; the day Nue first met Yoshika. If you recall, Nue had been feeding Yoshika her meals the whole time since then, with a big smile on her face the whole time. Word got to me that Murasa once joked that the best way to her heart was through her stomach, and that was the same day that Nue begged me to teach her to cook."

"You heard about that?" Murasa sunk in her seat a little. "It was just a joke…I didn't know she actually wanted a little slice of Yoshika's heart."

"In short, I knew about it the whole time, and let love take its course~"

"And Hijiri wins the prize again," Murasa said in applause. "So the punishment to make her a better cook wasn't just for her, then. It was so that she could win Yoshika's heart."

"Yep~"

* * *

**In front of the Dream Palace Mausoleum****…**

"YOSHIKAAAAAAAAA!" Nue sprinted up to the jiang shi, bowl of meat salad in her arms. "YOSHIKAAAAAAAAA!"

"Oh, it's Nue! Hey!" From the look on her face, Nue seemed like she was over the whole food poisoning scare from yesterday. It was certainly an interesting Christmas at the Dream Palace Mausoleum, and someday everybody would look back on it and laugh probably. That would be good. "What's up?"

"I was just wondering. If you're out here all the time, how often do you eat?"

"Two square meals a day. A breakfast, and a really big lunch!"

"Here! I made you a dinner! I figured you must get hungry being out here all the time, so I just decided to make you something tasty to munch on!" Nue could eat later. She wanted to get Yoshika's take on Nue's new and improved cooking. Getting a big forkful, Nue said "Open wide~"

_Munch munch munch__…__gulp._ "Mmm…"

"S-So? How is it? Way better than the last thing I made, right?"

"Actually, I kind of preferred yesterday's dinner better."

"!"

* * *

**Myouren Temple****…**

"I'll go last," Murasa said. She really didn't mind going last at all. It seemed odd at first for the ghost of a sailor to volunteer to take the last bath, but then one had to consider one thing. Being last meant she could stay in the bath for as long as she wanted to, though sometimes she stayed in the bath for so long that people forgot she was even there, and when she dozed off in the bath one time about two months ago, everybody freaked out and declared her a missing person, only for her to come out for lunch that day, wrinkly as a prune. "Nue can just knock when she gets back and I'll wrap up."

"Very well, then. We'll have Shou go first," Byakuren decided.

"W-Wait," the tiger youkai protested. "I-I took a bath this morning!"

"Liar~"

"W-Well, um, m-my doctor said…w-water is gonna mess up my immune system! O-Or something like that…"

"Me? _I__'__m_ your doctor~"

"U-Uh…"

"We do this every day. Nazrin, I trust you can take it from here?" With that, the Youchrist went on her way, taking the bath before Murasa's. Shou's baths were usually short yet disastrous, but what more could one expect from a feline youkai like Shou Toramaru? Everybody else fared much better.

"Alright," Nazrin said, gripping her master by the legs and yanking hard, landing Shou flat on her face. "Come on, Shou-sama. Let's get you bathed."

"Let go," Shou shouted, clawing at the floors in a futile attempt to not get dragged off into the torture chamber called a bath. "I'm warning you! I bite! Grrrrr!"

"Cats don't growl."

"Tigers so growl! And they bite, too!"

* * *

**A few baths later****…**

"And then I'm up," the ghostly sailor said happily as Byakuren made her way by, fresh out of the bath. She and Nue both looked forward to baths, though Murasa wasn't sure why Nue looked forward to them. Murasa got to embrace her nature as a ghost sailor, and there were a few toy boats hidden in the bathroom that she could sink…but why Nue? Murasa could only draw up one conclusion. The six-winged youkai was hiding something…her true form! It made perfect sense! That was the voice Murasa heard last week! She _knew_ she wasn't crazy! Her plan was decided. Take her bath, then lie in waiting for Nue to take her bath, hiding somewhere in the bathroom (currently, the plan was to hide in the toilet, since the bath faced away from it) to see what exactly Nue's true form looked like.

_KSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH__…_ Until then, there was a bath and a handful of toy boats waiting for Murasa. The sailor waited until the water was hot enough, tossed in her boats, stripped down, and hopped in. In Gensokyo, there was no ocean, and there was only that little lake near the Scarlet Devil Mansion. That meant no boats other than Futo's flying boat, which could not sink since it didn't go over water. That meant that Murasa was among the weakest of youkai in Gensokyo, since she couldn't use her abilities, whereas even Nazrin and Shou could use their ability to find things (though Shou's seemed to be more like the power to _lose_ things) and had that going for-

_SHK!_

"Hey," the sailor shouted. "Knock before you come in!"

"Sorry," Shou said, not looking at Murasa. "I think I just left something in here is all."

"Heh. I was just thinking about the way you tend to lose things, too. Maybe if I imagine a very cute girl, I'll find one~"

"Hmm, it's not in here. Well, thanks. Bye."

"I wonder…" Just as Shou made to close the door, Murasa decided on some harmless fun. _SPLASH!_ Just a little parting gift to warn Shou to knock next time. No malicious intentions or anything.

_MEOW! HISSSSS!_

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" That was hilarious. She didn't even know Shou meowed! But if she let her mind get distracted, then Murasa would forget about her awesome stakeout plans to spy on Nue during her bath. Hopefully, if there were somebody reading her thoughts, they wouldn't get the wrong idea. Without the need to hold her breath, Murasa kicked back, relaxed, and submerged herself completely in the water. This was another reason she loved taking baths so much.

* * *

**Meanwhile, in Byakuren****'****s office****…**

"I still can't believe she actually did it," Byakuren said, looking at the bandages on Nazrin's hand. "I guess we'd better punish Shou, then."

"Please be merciful," the youkai in question said. "It was instinct, I swear."

"I know. For the next seven days, _I_ will hold onto the jeweled pagoda you carry around."

"Yes, ma'am." Shou reached into her clothes for it…then tried the other side. Maybe in the back? Could it have gotten into her sleeves? "…I don't have it."

"…"

"We have to think of something," Nazrin said. "Maybe she should go find the pagoda. I've already found it some fifty times, and a few of those times it wound up in the oddest places…" Nazrin wouldn't go into detail on those places, because she did not like being near any of them.

"Yes. Shou, your punishment is to go find the item you've lost, and return it to me so I can hold onto it for seven days. And until you find it, _you_ answer to _Nazrin_."

"Don't worry, Miss Hijiri," Nazrin said, getting up to her feet. "Under my leadership, she'll find it in no time. There's a reason our mice are the best mice in Gensokyo." That was why she was _COMMANDER_ Nazrin.

"Hey," Shou exclaimed. "There it is!" The finger of the tiger youkai pointed out the window. "I'll go get it right-"

_FWOOSH!_ Something flew across her vision, outside the window. Whatever it was, it moved real fast to leave behind a sonic boom like that. Now that that was done with…they took the pagoda!

"…I'll go find them," Shou said, getting up slowly and making her way out of Byakuren's office. And of course, as her luck so far would have it, just as she opened the door to leave the office, it started raining. "…"

"Keep going," Byakuren said sternly. "It's your responsibility, as well as your punishment, to get it, so go get it." Byakuren didn't enjoy being stern or authoritative, but there were some times when she just had to, or else she would probably lose control of the whole bunch living in the Myouren Temple. And that would be very bad.

_KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK!_

"Yes? Come on in."

"Hey, it's me," Murasa said, stepping in wearing a set of sea-green pajamas. "I just popped in to say I'm done my bath, and I'm gonna hit the hay pretty soon. All this Nue stuff really knocked the wind out of me."

"Very well. Good night, Murasa."

"Night." With that, Murasa left. Only she wasn't going to bed just yet. She had one Nue Houjuu to spy on, and Murasa had just seen her getting back. That meant Murasa had to move quickly. Time to do what ghosts did best. Turn green, disappear, and re-appear someplace else. In this case, the bathroom. Murasa opened up a cupboard and stepped in, making sure she had a good and hidden view of the bath. Nue would be here soon to take her bath. At last, her true form would be revealed…

* * *

**Shou may not be in the Myouren Temple for the next few chapters while she tries to figure out who stole her jeweled pagoda. On the note of Shou, she's the HARDEST STAGE 5 BOSS OF ALL!**

**Seriously, most others I can handle, but Shou I've never even fought on Normal and lost to her on Easy. It's the curvy laz0rs, really, combined with Murasa being the strongest Stage 4 boss. Murasa and Shou are the only reasons I've never fought Byakuren, and she's the only final boss (in the Windows era) who I've never fought before. And out of them all, I've only beaten two :O**

**I beat Remilia after some 10 months of hard practice, and Eirin I beat by using up all my continues, almost all of my lives, and LOTS of bombs. Somebody please tell me why I'm not nearly as good at dodging bullets as I am at writing stories about the people shooting the bullets!**


	9. Chapter 9: True Form

**This is a great chapter as a whole. I get a nice spectrum of focus (4 characters) and Shou's not-so-epic adventure to get back the jeweled pagoda begins!**

**I should make it a much bigger thing, but…actually, you know what? I still have time to make it a big adventure, and if I keep up the rain over Gensokyo, it's gonna really suck for Shou, which will make some of us laugh at her expense, and then Shou fans are gonna be all "Don't make it rain on Shou!"**

…**come to think of it, I don't know of any Shou fans.**

* * *

"I hate the rain," Shou said sadly to herself, looking around the area the pagoda was before it was stolen, hoping to find some trace of who the thief was. So far, she was drawing up nothing, but she did have an idea who the thief may have been. That black-white witch who boarded the Palanquin Ship, went to Hokkai, and fought Byakuren. That witch had asked about the value of the flying treasures, and the super-fast figure _was_ wearing black.

Right. First thing on Shou's agenda: Find out where Marisa Kirisame lived!

* * *

**Meanwhile, in the Myouren Temple****'****s bathroom****…**

Murasa had been hanging out in the cupboard longer than she'd expected to. It wasn't like Nue to skip a bath, so where in the world was she? _…__this is taking forever._ Murasa was vaguely reminded of the night about a month ago when she decided to set up a prank on a sleeping Nue, but instead learned that she slept in the nude. And in turn, wound up teaching it to everybody else in the Myouren Temple by accident, though that was really Nue's fault.

_SHK!_

_That__'__s her!_ Murasa got back into stealth mode, leaving barely any part of her body visible behind the cupboard door, with not enough light shining toward it to make Murasa visible in the least. Unless Nue actually went to the cupboard and looked inside, she _would not_ find Murasa. As the water for the bath started running, Murasa mentally praised herself for being able to pull this off. _I__'__m such a great planner,_ she told herself. _That was why I was a captain in life. The navy didn__'__t let just any chick be captain__…__hell, they didn__'__t let any chick in the navy! I__'__m glad I still have my old planning abilities from my time there._ Oh! Moment of truth time! Nue was stripping down, so her true form would soon be revealed! …did the back of her head just grow a big eye, and look straight at Murasa? Nah, the ghostly captain must have been imagining it.

And then Nue's transformation began! As it would for full-body transformations, her skin started going solid black, and the silhouette began changing shape. Whatever it was, it was kinda big…and round. It had lots of fat legs, too. And then the color returned to Nue's body to reveal what the hell kind of true form she had. It was…an octopus?

_…__what?_ There was no way that was Nue's true form! It was almost an insult to think that Murasa wasted all of her planning power on seeing Nue turn into a big purple octopus! Even so, that was what happened, and Nue _did_ transform…well, that sucked. So, doing the best thing she could think of, Murasa purposely dropped something of hers, and did her handy ghostly teleportation thing again. Only this time, she put herself right outside the bathroom door. _KNOCK, KNOCK!_

"Hang on a sec," Nue shouted from across the door, reverting from the purple octopus form to the one people generally knew her by.

"…"

"Okay!"

_SHK!_ "Just left something in here," Murasa said, stepping across the bathroom, trying not to look at the youkai whose true form was apparently an octopus. Open the cupboard, pick up her thing, go back across again, _SLIP!_ "OW!" Murasa slipped over a bar of soap, and landed flat on her back. It hurt. Her pride slightly wounded, Murasa got up, and shut the door on her way out. Well, now that Murasa got the answer she wanted, even if it wasn't what she was hoping for, the sailor would finally call it a day and get some sleep.

"…" Still in her "standard" form, Nue started transforming one of her wings. It became an arm, with an eye in the palm of its hand. Before Nue took on her _true_ form, she had to make certain Murasa didn't sneak back in again. Every time she took a bath, she let the back of her head grow an eye to make sure she wasn't being spied on; one with night vision. When she saw Murasa trying to hide in the cupboard, she'd decided to throw the sailor off with the form of an octopus, and wait until she left to take on her true form. As the wing-turned-arm started opening everything up and looking inside, Nue relaxed, let out a big breath, and started transforming again once she was certain nobody was in the room…

* * *

"Huh? W-Where'd it go?" Aw, crap! The thing Murasa had left in the cupboard, she'd dropped it when she slipped on the soap! Now she had to go get it…

* * *

"Bathing in my true form," Nue lightly sung to herself. "Cuz nobody else can see me~ A bath I will take, true form I will take, because I'm bathing in my true form~ Bathing in-"

_SHK!_

"**AAH!**"

"Whoa!"

"_You!_"

"Y-You!"

"**MURASA!**"

"Nue!"

"**GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!**" Once again, Nue wanted to die of embarrassment. Now the unthinkable (to Nue, at least) had happened. Her true form was revealed!

"I-I swear, I won't tell anybody!"

"**GET OUT**," Nue shrieked in response.

"I just gotta-"

"_**NOW!**_"

_SHK!_ "…" Okay, Murasa was okay now. She just had to go around the corner before she could let loose the mother of all nosebleeds. It was kind of a good thing that ghosts never ran out of blood, but it was also probably a bad thing because if Murasa was given the task of cleaning up her own nosebleed, she'd probably be busy for quite some time.

* * *

**The following morning; Byakuren****'****s office****…**

"Kyouko volunteered to clean up the blood," Byakuren said, looking at Murasa, next to whom sat Nue. "You should consider yourself lucky. The poor girl will probably be busy all day long."

"I'm very sorry, ma'am," the captain said in her defense. "It's no lie; I actually left something in the bathroom, and forgot to knock, and Nue was there in her true form and all…"

"Wait a minute. You mean you _saw_ her true form?"

"Um…yeah!" Now things were looking good for Murasa, so she figured! Byakuren sounded earnestly impressed at the feat that had eluded the whole of Gensokyo, which Murasa accomplished entirely on accident. "Though she tried to trick me the first time by turning into an octopus!"

"Yes, yes, I suppose…wait, _the first time_?"

"U-Uh…"

"That's right," Nue said, taking no time to rat out the person who had seen her true form. "I took on the octopus form because I'd grown an eye out the back of my head to make sure nobody was spying on me. And _sure enough_, I saw Murasa hiding in a cupboard, waiting for me to strip down and take on my real form. I'm not saying we should kick her out or anything, but I think at least a temporary exile or something is in order here!"

"I knew I wasn't imagining that eye…"

"Exiling Murasa would be one of the worst things we can do," Byakuren explained. "Ever since its founding, the Myouren Temple has acted as a refuge for youkai who have hit dire straights or otherwise have no place to go. If we exile one of our own, even for a few days, what kind of message will that spread? That we'll only welcome you if you strictly follow our rules?" Shaking her head, Byakuren continued "I don't want a temple like that. We enforce our rules loosely, but firmly, because all of us here are usually pretty good in terms of following them."

"B-But…last night was an invasion of privacy," Nue protested. "Two of them!"

"I'm aware of that, therefore…"

_Gulp._

"Murasa," the Youchrist declared. "A ghost has no need to maintain her hygiene; it's purely a pleasure thing for you, being a sailor and all. For the next seven days, you will be no longer be allowed to take baths or leave the temple, _and_ Nazrin will take over as head chef until this punishment is lifted."

"Yes, ma'am…"

"More importantly, if you speak of Nue's true form to _anybody_, more severe disciplinary actions _will_ be taken," Byakuren added, stumbling a little bit over the word "disciplinary" since she was so unused to saying it. "Please keep that in mind."

"Aye-aye, ma'am." With that, Murasa got up to her feet, looked at Nue one more time, then left. Did the means justify the end? Was seeing Nue's real form worth this kind of punishment? Byakuren had essentially grounded her, so she couldn't go see Mononobe. The shikaisen would have to come to her. Even further, Nazrin took over her spot as head chef, even if only for a little bit. That meant it would now be Nazrin that was responsible for overseeing the cooking of the meals, instead of the ghostly captain. Baths and being head chef, two of her favorite parts of living in the Myouren Temple, were just taken away for the next week.

"Now then," Byakuren said, looking over to Nue. "If Murasa gives you any trouble, or starts pestering you about your true form, come see me immediately."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Also."

"Hm?"

"Pardon me asking, but it's just been bugging me ever since we met, and even more so now that it's become the topic of a conversation. What _does_ your true form look like?"

"…"

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"I don't want to tell you."

"I understand perfectly."

"I'll _show_ you. I can't live knowing that only Murasa knows," Nue confessed, her skin going the solid black it went when she was doing a full-body transformation. Yet another unthinkable thing. Nue never thought she'd reveal her true form willingly. As the silhouette gained its color, the form that was the true form of Nue was revealed to be…

* * *

"Rats," Marisa said, looking at the tiger youkai at her door. "I thought I'd moved fast enough that you didn't see me, ze."

"Can I please come in? It's raining, and…"

"Fine." _CLICK, CLACK, SHICK, CHING, CLING__…_

"…"

"Almost there, ze…oh, this damn one always sticks! _NNGH!_" _SHUCK!_

"…"

"Done!" The front door of Marisa's disaster of a house swung open, with the black-white witch gesturing grandly to its interior that looked like a bomb went off. Of course, knowing Marisa, a bomb probably _did_ go off in here.

* * *

**I love Marisa's door XD**

**Every good series has that one crazy person with a bazillion locks on their door, and in Touhou, it's gotta be Marisa.**

**On to more critical points of the chapter…**

**You didn't really think I'd reveal Nue's true form to you readers, did you? I haven't even finished imagining what it looks like myself, so I dunno if it's very scary, very cute which could explain Murasa's epic nosebleed, or very beautiful to also explain the nosebleed. Or maybe a combination of the three? Like a beautiful but horrifying form? One that you'd wanna hit until you realized that you were actually hitting it, but by that point you've already started and you don't wanna stop early, because you're scared of getting Nue and her scary true form mad, but also because she's so beautiful…**

**Writers are now rambling…**

…**and stuff like that, ya know?**

**Anyway, that's definitely the kind of true form Nue should have :)**


	10. Chapter 10: True Form of Form Faker

**Yay, I actually updated something that hasn't been written in the last two weeks~**

**I'm planning this plan in my head, and it's either the best thing or the worst thing I've ever thought of. Oh, one last note before the chapter…**

**I wrote this chapter because it stars the Myouren crew. I'm doing this in celebration of the Touhou 13.5 that has recently been announced. If I go offline for a while, it's because I've dedicated myself to clearing UFO for the exact same reason. I WILL defeat Byakuren before this game is released!**

**Count on it! :D**

**Oh, also, you may wanna re-read the last chapter again if you're a little fuzzy on the details. It's important to know what was going on in this chapter~**

* * *

"…"

"What? Did I do something wrong, Hijiri?"

"You know, that wasn't very nice to do. Not to Murasa, and not to Nue."

"She won't mind. I know her~"

"Still, do try to be a little less subtle so that at least somebody knows you're _you_ when you're taking the shape of a youkai known to change her shape, won't you? For me, Mamizou?"

"Aw, alright. I should go find Nue."

"And I'll inform Murasa of what _really_ happened…"

"Quite a story, huh?"

* * *

**Not long before the ****"****true form****"**** thing last night; Dream Palace Mausoleum****…**

"There are some things about you I just don't get," Nue said to the jiang shi that was the center of her visit to the mausoleum. Nue didn't get why Yoshika preferred the old monstrous cooking over Nue's new and improved dishes. "You know that, Yoshika?"

"Heh-heh, even a jiang shi is entitled to a little mystery~"

"Yeah, got that-" _RUSTLE!_ "Hm?" Nue's eyes went over to the bush that just made the noise. That particular bush wasn't there when Nue got here. Probably just somebody's cheap camo to spy on Nue. Best to deal with them. Stepping over to the bush, Nue grabbed the top, and pulled. It didn't come out. Nue pulled harder. It still didn't come out. "Okay," the youkai said to herself. "On three. One…two…"

"Hold it," the bush shouted.

"What the-"

"It's me," the alleged plant said, shifting into a more humanoid form; growing ears and a tail. Then the final touch; a pair of glasses nestled skillfully upon this youkai's nose. "It's just me, Nue."

"Well, I'll be! Mamizou! Aren't you a sight for sore eyes?"

"Aren't I ever. So, tell me, how come you're hanging out with these Mausoleum folks? You know, the ones you called me out for to be used _against_ them?"

"We'd better get comfy. It's quite a story."

* * *

**Back in Byakuren****'****s office; currently****…**

"I figured I'd pose as Nue for the night, since she decided to sleep over there last night, and I did everything like Nue did. I saw Murasa spying on me, and decided to have a little bit of fun by toying with the sailor."

"I can sort of understand where you're coming from, but I have one question."

"Yeah?"

"What did you use as Nue's fake true form?"

"This…"

* * *

**A little later; Eientei****…**

"My bad," Mamizou said, watching Byakuren get rushed off. "I understand a sailor having a massive nosebleed over this kind of stuff, but I didn't think it'd work on you, too."

_SLAM!_ "I came the second I heard," Murasa shouted. "Everybody else isn't that far behind!"

"Oh, Murasa. Perfect timing. I've gotta tell you something."

"Oh yeah? What's up?"

"When you thought you saw Nue's real form last night…that was actually me. Sorry."

"W-Wait," the sailor said, the green in her eyes occasionally flickering to the red more characteristic to the _real_ youkai. "Y-You…" In the blink of an eye, Nue let it be known that it was indeed Nue, and finished "**You showed her my true form?**"

"Nah, I just made up a fake true form. Nice to see you too, by the way."

"…"

"Here's the part where we laugh."

"**HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!** That's freaking hilarious!" Now Murasa had the wrong idea of what Nue's true form was! She couldn't wait for Murasa to start spreading the word, only for Nue to confirm the sailor's claims as wrong! "How do you think she'd react to my _real_ true form?"

"Your _true_ form? I think…she'd be scared. Very scared." It scared Mamizou, but was oddly captivating once one got past its horror factor. There was good reason Nue didn't use that form. It led to bloody noses and soiled trousers the world over before she arrived in Gensokyo, so she decided to massively tone herself down shortly after arriving, which led to the commonly recognized six-winged form people identified the undefined girl with. The same one Mamizou utilized last night.

"But she'd also be head-over-heels wild for me. Maybe it's best to not use that form where she can see." Inversely, maybe she would show that form to Yoshika sometime.

* * *

**Marisa Kirisame****'****s house****…**

"Thank you for letting me spend the night," Shou said, hand on the doorknob. "It seems the rain has stopped, so I can go search in earnest. Just so I know I've got the facts right, though, could you please tell me what happened again?"

"Sure thing, ze," the black-white witch said. She didn't have the pagoda anymore; she was misusing its power shortly after stealing it, and she eventually lost it. "After I took your pagoda, I went over to see what it could do…"

* * *

_"__I bet the reporter__'__s heart is WAY wicked,__"__ Marisa said mischievously to herself. After speeding past the Myouren Temple, Marisa had flown around a little to lose anybody that might have been on her tail. She__'__d landed not far from the Hakurei Shrine, but not AT the shrine in fear of Reimu forcing her to return her newest stolen item. __"__I wonder what the Bunbunmaru would look like if I used this on her, ze.__"__ Only one way to find out. So, hopping back on her broom, Marisa took off!_

_**Witches are now traveling**__**…**_

_"__Almost there, ze. Just a little further, and-__"_

_WHOOSH! A massive gust of wind, strong enough to almost tear Marisa off her broom, blew her right off course, and blew her hat right off her head. __"__MY HAT!__"__ Marisa always flew with one hand on her broom, and if she let go with the other in these newfound windy conditions, she__'__d surely fall right off her broom and to her unpleasant demise. In the other hand__…__the jeweled pagoda. Damn. __"__Well, looks like I__'__ll never find out, ze.__"__ And so, Marisa casually tossed the pagoda into the wind to let it go wherever it would, chasing after her hat instead._

* * *

"…"

"Not like it's gone forever, ze! It has to be somewhere, right?"

"…I can't believe you ditched it over a hat." There was only one jeweled pagoda, and it was priceless. In the world, there were dozens, if not hundreds of witch hats Marisa could just find and steal, or she could even make her own. Clearly, the witch had no sense of the true value of an object beyond what she could personally gain with it. The second Shou found the jeweled pagoda again (and after Byakuren's confiscation of it was finished) she'd have to come back here and massively cleanse Marisa's heart. Pulling open the door, Shou stepped outside into the no-longer rainy Gensokyo, Shou's extremely unenviable journey for the jeweled pagoda began…

* * *

**Meanwhile, back at the lair-er, temple****…**

"Ah, I see you're trying out a new look," Byakuren complimented to the temple's one and only guardian; Ichirin Kumoi. It wasn't all that different from her usual look, though the impact of the one subtle difference was pretty large taken into account her usual appearance. "Any particular reason?"

"Nue said it would look better this way," Ichirin replied, shrugging a little in uncertainty. The only thing that really changed was that Ichirin's hood was no longer up all the time; Nue had told her to try wearing it down and tying her hair back into a ponytail. "I'm not sure. I think it's somewhat childish, which is rather unbecoming of a guardian."

"With the hostilities with the Taoists faded away, we don't have much need for guarding the place with such vigor any longer. I personally believe your new look is very fresh. Did Unzan give you his take yet?"

"He said it reminded him of when I was little. That seems to help my argument of it looking childish, though…" Maybe Nue, whose true form was an absolute mystery to all (except for Mamizou, apparently) wasn't the best person to take hair advice from. "Oh, also, I heard a rumor in the village. About you, no less!"

"Oh, really? What are the humans saying about little ol' me?"

"Well, I mean, it's just a rumor, but I've heard that you've got something big planned out. Like, _really_ big." The exact rumor Ichirin heard was that Byakuren was planning to expand the Myouren Temple's reach without making it fly. The reason? On a general basis, humans didn't fly. "Is there any truth to the rumors that you've been planning to expand the temple's reach?"

"Ah, I tried that once before. It coincided with the incident with the Taoists appearing, remember?" Byakuren had set up a shrine, appointed a random youkai as the miko (this is a _Buddhist_ temple, not Shinto, right?) and then the miko of darkness resolved the divine spirits incident. Then the shrine got destroyed, and Byakuren acted like it never happened to begin with. "But yes, I'm planning on erecting another branch, though it seems that shrines aren't quite the attention magnets I made them out to be. It will have to be a temple this time~"

"…" Ichirin didn't get Byakuren sometimes. More importantly, where did she plan to build this branch temple? And who would be in charge of it? She had to know! "Do you…I mean, have you already figured out who will be working at the branch temple?"

"Yes~" A crew of five - maybe six - youkai would be living in and working there. Byakuren saw them near the Human Village the other day and pulled them aside since she recognized a member of the group. "I think a branch temple will be a good thing. M-hm, it will certainly be a good thing for our goal of coexistence, won't it?"

"I suppose so. I worry though. You've got that look on your face." The one Byakuren got when there was more to her words than she let on. Was she up to something? Perhaps Nue or Mamizou would know more; both of them were excellent spies thanks to their abilities. Once again, the need to know overwhelmed Ichirin! "I'll just not worry about it, though. I'm going to find Nue…maybe Mamizou if I find her first." With that, Ichirin took off, still sporting her new look of the hood being down and the hair tied into a ponytail.

* * *

**I think Ichirin has the potential to be one of the most beautiful Touhou characters, but the hood ruins it. All the fanart I've seen where her hood is down, even if it's just for a second, is wonderful, much like how I've never seen a straight-haired Nue I don't like.**

**And now on a totally unrelated note, I want to share the greatest conversation I've had in a long time. Me and a user on roleplayerguild (no, Sonanoka, it's not you) had it just yesterday. I forgot their username, though ^_^;**

**Them: I think your obsession with Touhou might be unhealthy.**

**Me: Nothing bad's happened yet, so it's okay :D**

**Them: Now I'll just wait for you to dye your hair green and smoke the souls of others or whatever you said.**

**I laughed, because I actually do plan on dying my hair green sometime, and yes, it's entirely because of Mima.**

**Now that that's outta the way, I really should get those Taoists back in the story. Like, NAO!**


End file.
